My Not So Much Love Story
by Zaidita
Summary: When Alice Brandon promises to marry Edward Cullen her heart is not in it, but she cannot disappoint her family or hurt Edward who she does care for, but will she be able to keep her promise of marriage when the man who does own her heart arrives?
1. I so do not!

**_Friday_**

I had knots in my stomach.

I was worried that maybe I was doing the _wrong_ thing. What if I was wrong and _he_ was the one? What if what I was feeling was just nerves because we would be graduating this year? He had been my best friend since I was born, literally. Our mothers had been best friends and our fathers were, well, friends as well, so we were always together. Maybe I was just running away and would find out that I had made a mistake and would just come back, but it could be too late.

I sighed glancing at the bathroom door across the room. I wanted to run through it and puke all my nerves up. Yeah, I know . . . that's gross but it was the truth. My nerves were pulling my stomach in all direction and then flipping it up and knotting it, making me nauseous. Maybe I should wait to break up with him? No! I've been "waiting" since we first got together. Waiting to see if this "love" would grow or if maybe he would grow the balls to leave_me_. _That_ had backfired!

"Alice dear, it's almost seven," my mother's shrill voice rang up the stairs and my stomach churned.

Maybe I should wait until it was just him and me? My parents would be so disappointed. They loved him like a son! My mother even told me once that she would _cry_ if we ever broke up. I didn't want to make her cry or disappoint her and father, but I was feeling so trapped. I remember one time they_thought _I was cheating on him, I wasn't sadly, but still they got so angry and upset. I had tried to tell them then how I felt, but they wouldn't listen. They told me I was just being stupid and I would _never_ be able to find someone like him again. What if they were right?

I almost jumped off my bed once the door opened. "Baby, Edward is here."

I stood up, noticing that my mother was _overdone. _I mean, she is always done up nice. Always in heels and a nice skirt or dress, she doesn't believe in pants, but today was different. She was wearing her favorite dress, the one she wore to the Elvis impersonator last year when we visited Tennessee, and she loved the King. Her makeup was perfect and she had on her favorite diamonds.

"Is that what you are wearing," she asked me.

I looked down at my own dress feeling underdressed next to her, "It's only dinner with the family and Edward mom."

"Edward's parents are here too," she giggled walking over to my vanity and pulling out the chair. "Here I bought you a new dress, I guess you didn't see it. I want you to wear _this_ tonight."

She handed me a bag that had been sitting on the chair. Truth was I had seen it, new clothes. How could I _not_ see new clothes? But . . . how could I get excited at this moment? Knowing that I was about to dump Edward in front of my parents, and now not only them, but his as well. I sighed. I was going to have to put it off. There was no way I could do this in front of Esme and Carlisle. I loved them too, and I didn't want them to hate me.

"I'll tell them you'll be down in a minute."

I pulled the dress out. A stunning summer dress that I loved, but I couldn't feel much for it. I slid it on, and did a simple fish braid in my long hair. I looked cute enough I supposed.

I walked down the stairs to find my mother and father laughing with the Cullens. I couldn't quite understand the punch line of the joke, but I was sure I would hear it again another day.

"You're late," Edward stood up and hugged me.

"I am always fashionably late," I giggled.

It was easy to put on a smile and make a joke with him. He had been my best friend all my life, before and after, but there was still the knot. Something didn't seem right. I didn't know Edward's parents were coming too, and they were dressed nicely too. Maybe it was just because they were guests? I tried to calm the knot, but that sorry excuse didn't work.

"Let's eat," my father said, walking to the dinning room.

We followed taking our seats at the long dinning table. Mother had really gone out of her way with the decorations. There were even candles. I sat down and the conversation began to flow naturally. Edward was the only one who was silent through most of the meal. Normally he was the talkative one. In on all the jokes. Laughing.

I turned to look at him and he responded before I could ask the question. "I'm fine Alice."

He smiled his adorable crooked smile and his bright green eyes laughed at me. "What, you can read minds now?"

He laughed as our maid cleaned the table and brought out my favorite cake, and I _knew_ something was up. Mom only bought this delicate, creamed and strawberry cheesecake for special occasion. Once I saw it my head snapped to my side were Edward had been sitting and my heart dropped.

He was on one knee with a small tint of pink in his cheeks as all eyes turned to us and the room fell silent. I looked around and I could see our maid watching through the door too. It was horrible. All those eyes on us and it was all I could do to keep my face from betraying my true emotions.

I looked back at Edward holding the purple tulip that I loved so much and was my favorite color, roses were over used. He knew I would not like that. Tied to the tulip was a sky blue ribbon, his favorite color, and it was holding a princess cut diamond ring that sparkled in the light. It was breath taking. He knew me so well and had even picked out the perfect ring.

"Alice Brandon," he began and I could feel the knot tightening and it made cringe on the inside to fake the smile. "You have been my best friend since we were babies, but I want to me more than that and more than your boyfriend. I want to be your husband and take care of you forever. This ring is a symbol of this. Would you do me the honor of being my wife and my best friend for life?"

I opened my mouth and the air caught in my throat. Only minutes ago I had been planning on asking him for time. For a break. I loved him, but I have never felt in love with him, even after all this time. Now he sat there with the perfect ring, and the perfect flower, on one knee. I told myself I was being stupid. I was just afraid because I was so young, and I would never find anyone who would love and care for me like him. I would never find anyone who knew me like he knew me.

Yet still I could not speak the words.

I untied the bow and slid the ring on my finger and his parents and my own clapped for our joyous union.

* * *

**My Not So Much Love Story : My name is Alice and this is my not so much love story. I have been Edward Cullen's girlfriend all through out high school and I was hoping I would really fall in love with him, but I didn't. But I can't disappoint my entire family and leave him. And I can't hurt him because in a way I do love him . . . just not the right way. **

**When Alice promises to marry a man who isn't the owner of her heart, will she be able to keep the promise when the man who is its owner shows up?**

This is going to be a little different than my other stories, I wanted to do something different and a story that is close to me. Basically its a spin off of some things that happened in my own personal life and I wanted to write about them. This will not be a tragedy lol like my popular story **A Cure for A Tragedy**. Hope you guys enjoy the chapters to come and I think this will be staying all humans ( this is the first) let me know your thoughts on the opening chapter.


	2. Butterflies

_**Monday**_

"Are you ready?"

"Yes," I nodded, stepping into the snow.

Even after all this time, he still walked me from my door to the car. He opened the passenger's door for me before sliding into the drivers seat next to me. He was so sweet and kind. How could I not care for him? I hated to see those puppy dog sad eyes. I hated to not see that crooked smile.

He reached over and picked up my left hand, inspecting the diamond ring he had given me last Friday. "Something wrong?"

"No," he laughed dropping my hand and starting the car. "Just checking to see if it had been 'aliced'."

I giggled with him looking at the ring myself. It was gorgeous enough without my assistance. "Aliced" was a term he and my friend Rosalie used quiet often and had termed themselves back in middle school. It meant that I had given a person a makeover, or at least that's how it started. Now its meaning had expanded to cover all objects such as rooms, people, and things alike.

"Are you excited to show off your new ring," he glanced over at me with his green, wide eyes.

"Yes," I lied.

I knew it was wrong, but I cringed at the idea of the attention over the ring. It was not that I didn't love the ring, or the attention, because earth and God knows I love attention and all things fashionable; but I was dreading having to say "I am engaged," when I really felt like saying, "I am trapped."

I knew I shouldn't feel this way. I should have sparkling eyes and be sitting with my binder full of wedding dresses and saying "that one ... no wait that one and I'll add some ribbon..." I should have been bouncing in my seat with anticipation to arrive at school and show my sparkling ring that was gorgeous. I should have been looking at my future husband with googly eyes and kissing his lips and cheeks and nose with excitement!

But I wasn't. I didn't feel that way. And I was cringing with the idea of arriving to school and faking it all. I kept telling myself it was just nervous butterflies and that once the day wore on it would get better.

It didn't.

Edward parked his new Volvo (an early graduation present from his parents) in his assigned spot and we walked to our classes. He gave me his routine peck on the cheek while no teacher was looking before I made my way to my homeroom desk. I sat down, careful not to make eye contact with Rosalie.

"Alice, what is that?"

I forgot she was sitting on my left side.

Before I could hide it, my hand was being jerked as our teacher walked into the room. Mrs. Harris was pretty cool; she gave us a few minutes to socialize before beginning class. It was our graduation gift she said. That and I think she was usually still sipping on coffee trying to wake up at that time. Either way, I didn't really appreciate it today.

"Oh my! That is a BIG diamond," Rosalie said breathlessly as all the girls in our general area turned to look at us.

Soon they were all passing my hand around like a shiny ball each exclaiming their excitement and congratulations.

"Ok," Rosalie said, ignoring all the other girls who were still admiring my ring. "I want to know every detail. How and when and what did he say, word for word!"

"Rose," I tried to protest and automatically regretted it.

Her eyes narrowed and her own face flushed red, "Alice, dear, what I have I said-"

"I know, I know," I said quickly covering my face as if she would actually hit me - I knew she wouldn't but still the extra precaution didn't hurt. "Sorry!"

Only one person could **ever** get away with calling her Rose, but he was not in Forks anymore. His name had been Emmett, a big, muscular, young man that all the women in Forks drooled over and only Rose had won over. She made a deal with him; he could call her Rose as long as he could take her fury. She had hit him (not in the face of course) but she could do no damage to the six foot, five inches man, so he called her that until she finally gave up on hitting him. However he was travelling with the army and was gone before their love could fully develop.

Since then she had dated maybe one guy more than once. There wasn't that many to pick from in Forks and Rose was meant to be a model. She was a good five foot seven and taller than most of the boys in our little town of Forks, and she refused to speak to anyone shorter than her, in heels! She had gorgeous blond hair that always had that perfect wave and curves! She did not look as if she belonged to the dull world of Forks, Washington.

"So how did he do it," Jennifer asked Rosalie's earlier question.

"The old fashion way," Rosalie assumed . . . correctly.

"Like on one knee," Elizabeth imagined.

"I bet it was so romantic," Angela spoke up.

"Spill," Jennifer half shouted.

"Girls," I whined.

I didn't want to relive that moment. I didn't want to bring up all those emotions.

"Enough chat class," the teacher called saving me. "Let's get started."

I was able to avoid most of the questions, but I eventually had to spill the details on the way to lunch, with a false smile. They all swooned, minus Rosalie. She was not all giddy and neither was I.

"Ooooo! Look at the sparkles," Mike laughed.

I sat down in my normal cafeteria spot, across from Mike Newton, Eric, and Angela. Rosalie took her seat next to me, and Edward on the other side as the daily food trading began and we swapped food.

"So when's the date," Mike said through a mouthful of fries he had taken from Angela's tray as more people sat down.

"Don't worry about it," Rosalie scoffed. "You're not invited."

A few around us laughed, but I knew she wasn't joking. He wasn't our friend, not for real, but he was a part of the group and another we had been through school with our entire life. He was more like family. Family in the sense that you didn't like them, but you still put up with them.

"I've always wanted to be a wedding crasher," he retorted.

"How can you crash in Forks," Eric jabbed. "Everyone knows everyone here. You'd get kicked out before you stepped in."

"Watch out," Rosalie whispered in my ear.

I followed her gaze to see Jessica walking towards our table. She had once been a close friend. Once. Until she tried to kiss Edward on _our_ one year anniversary. I was devastated, but not surprised. Honestly, looking back, I realized that I was not jealous either when it all went down. Just betrayed, and I could have cared less if Edward had provoked it, even though there was no doubt he had not done such a thing. I guess it was because it wasn't really love.

She stopped at our table, her new best friend Lauren flanking her left side. They both looked like they had been sucking on lemons with the way their eyes scrunched up in their faces, and their lips were pursed.

"I heard you two finally got engaged," Jessica said as I felt Edward's hand snake its way into mine. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," I said awkwardly.

Yeah. I should have wrapped my arms adoringly around Edward and kissed him in front of her. Maybe even wiggle my finger with the amazing diamond before her. Once upon a time I did do such things. I did it to make all the girls jealous that were on Jessica's side, or just interested in Edward, but I just didn't care about that anymore. Maybe I had grown up. Or maybe it just wasn't that important to me anymore.

"Hey Jess," Mike started using his "sexy" voice and I swore I heard her groan. "When you want to go see that movie?"

She rolled her eyes, stalking off with Lauren trailing behind like an ugly puppy as we laughed at another failed attempt on Mike's part.

"She loves me," he brushed off her indifference.

"Like a cat loves water," Edward said the cliché line, but everyone laughed.

"Guess what I found out," Angela spoke up from her usual spot by Eric. "The army recruiters arrived today."

"Fascinating," Mike droned in reply. "Hey, anyone want to go see a movie this weekend?"

Conversation carried on normally with little attention to the news that Angela had brought to us, but I hadn't missed it. From the look on Rosalie's face, she hadn't either. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more my stomach began to flip with excitement. See, I always get these feelings when something big is about to happen, and I was getting one at that moment. I recognized it as the same feeling I had gotten freshmen year this time when we were told the recruiters were here, and then we had met Emmett. Was it possible he was back?

Lunch ended and I walked with Edward to our next class with my favorite English teacher, Mrs. Cagle.

"Let me see it," she shouted as soon as I entered.

There was no class for the rest of that period. Just a lot of conversing on dream weddings. I was very impatient to escape and get to gym with Rosalie. I hadn't missed that look, but I knew she would be reluctant to talk about it.

Reluctant was too nice a word. Once gym started she thoroughly avoided me. We were playing her sport, volleyball, and she was more competitive than normal and angry. I played on the team with her when it was volleyball season, but today I was on the opposite side of the net. Scary.

"Hey Rosalie," I caught up to her after our last class.

"Edward is waiting over there," she hissed pointing over her shoulder in the opposite direction.

"So," I shrugged uncaring if he was waiting for me or not. She sighed in defeat as we made our way into the stadium. She sat down in the bleachers. In the fall we would come and watch the few good-looking boys on the team play and just talk. I realized, sadly, this would be the last time we would do that. My parents were not going to let me go to any college Edward wasn't at, and Rosalie wouldn't be wherever he was going. Medical school. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going to be a nurse. That was the family plan; a doctor and nurse just like my own parents. I hated that plan.

"I know what this is about," she said with a sigh, knowing there was no point in hiding it, "and you don't have to worry about me."

"I know I don't," I said honestly watching as my heels clicked against each other. "I just thought that you would want someone to talk to."

"There's nothing to talk about," she shook her head.

I leaned back against the bleachers staring off into the distance. On the field the coach was talking to an older man. Not much older than we were, perhaps college age. Other than that life was void.

"What are you going to do if you see him," I asked, pushing my luck.

"He's not going to be a recruiter anymore," Rosalie stated. "He was going to go back to the front lines. You know that."

I looked over as she stood up. "I got to get to work. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

She stormed off, leaving me alone on the bleachers. I didn't move, eager to enjoy the time alone. I had been with Edward all day at school, and he would be at my house that afternoon, so what were a few moments on the bleachers. I watched as the young man the coach was talking to waived someone over in the distance. Uninterested I watched as a much taller man mad his way onto the field.

My interest instantly perked. He was a good six feet tall with curly blond hair. He had a strong jaw line too from what I could see and blue eyes that I could spot even from this distance. In one word, handsome. I felt my heart rate spike as his eyes caught my own and he flashed an amazing smile. I thought I was going to hyperventilate!

Something told me I had to walk over there and ask for his name. That's all. I just had to know the name that belonged to that wonderful face. The same feeling that something big was about to happen was rising in my stomach again and I rose to my feet. I could see, even as he greeted the coach the first man was introducing him too, that his eyes were also on me. Every time those blue eyes glanced in my direction, my heart jumped. There was something special about this boy, call it women intuition, and I had to know him.

As I took my first step down the bleachers I heard my name.

"Alice . . . are you ok?"

I turned and all those feelings just sunk to the bottom of my stomach as Edward walked closer to me. "Yeah, I'm coming."

I pushed past him, hoping it wasn't too obvious we were together, and then instantly hating myself for that. Still . . . I couldn't help but still just one last glance at the tall blond man who was watching me leave.

Butterflies! A different type than what I had felt this morning.

* * *

**ZM** : I'm thrilled to be back from my vacation and uploading some new chapters. Thanks to every who has reviewed and added I really appreciate it, this story is big for me so please if you haven't reviewed/added do so- I'd love to hear from you guys! THANKS


	3. Uggggg

_**Tuesday**_

"I thought that was a diary, not a sketch book."

I stopped my obsessive doodling to stick my tongue out Edward. "It's whatever I want it to be."

We both giggled and he threw a pillow at me. I caught it in both hands after setting my diary to the side. I threw it back towards his face knowing he would catch it, but it was just a distraction. As it flew at him I pounced from my bed and dived at him. He was so preocupied with the pillow he never saw me coming. I grabbed at his sides searching for his tickle spot.

"Alice," he gasped through his laughing, and as quickly as it began it was over. He had his arms wrapped around me and was pinning me to the floor. My sides ached with laughter as he squeezed my too sensitive sides. I fought back the best I could. We wrestled for several minutes and I kept him laughing, but I couldn't over power him. I tackled him and squirmed out of his reach heading for safe haven, the bathroom- I could lock the the door.

"Hold still you evil pixy," he huffed the words out, almost out of breath from our tickle fight.

The door was just in my reach, but his strong arms grabbed hold of me and I was falling to the floor with laughter. "Edward!"

He tickled until my sides burned and I could hardly get a word out. "Edward . . . please . . . I give!"

He finally stopped ticklng me and still laughing he fell on the floor beside me. I clapped my hands twice and the lights went out around us and I was left staring at the universe. Yeah, it's a little childish, but I love my green, glow in the dark stars and planets.

"Alice."

"Edward."

It took him a moment to respond as his breath returned to normal, but when he did my heart dropped. "Are you . . . excited . . . about the wedding."

I didn't want to lie, and I certainly didn't want to tell the truth. "Why do you ask that Eddie?"

"I thought you would already be making plans and shouting it over the intercoms at school," he said with a small chuckle, but he couldn't fool me.

I could hear how shaky his breath was and how the way his words waivered. Why did he have to go and ruin everything? The night had been going so well! I liked it when we were that way, playing and joking. That was they way it had always been, since we were kids! I didn't want to lose that, but I could see that my indifference was getting to him. I guess I was trying to hold onto something that wasn't anymore. "I guess I am just a little nervous."

He sighed and I felt his hand slide over mine. "Don't be Alice. I love you, and you love me. So . . . there's no reason to be nervous."

I didn't get a chance to respond as his phone began to ring.

"Hello . . . yeah mom I'll be there soon," he said into the bright lights of his phone before slamming it shut and turning to me. "I gotta go, it's getting late. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"K," I said as he pecked my lips and stood up. "Tell Esme I said hi."

"She wants you to come over to dinner tomorrow," he said. "Will you?"

"Yeah, tell her I'll be there."

"Ok, love you," he said as he exited my room.

"Love you," I said as I stood and crawled on my bed while he shut the door behind him.

I hit the unlock button on my phone and saw the time, ten p.m. I put it on charge and walked over to my dresser. I turned on my ipod and connencted it to its speaker as the music on my night playlist began to play softly. I changed into some sweats and a tanktop before lying back in my bed.

How did I get here?

I ran through it all once more. I had developed a crush on Edward the summer before freshmen year. He had gotten his first real girlfriend and I had hardly seen him at all, and she _hated_ me. I came over to visit him one evening and she was there and we had a huge fight and I told him, once his parents made her leave because she started it, that I had feelings for him. I had had no idea he did too, nor did I know that they were stronger.

But then again, who didn't have a crush on Edward? He was so handsome. He was a little under six feet tall and lanky, but in a cute way. He was built for his size, lean muscles, and abs too, but not too defined. His hair was unique too. I loved that about him, he was unique. It was brown with this natural bronze color mixed in and it was always a stylish mess, and he had this most adorable smirk and crooked smile that hinted at the smug smart-ass that hid in all that sweetness. He was a great listener and old fashion. He never pressured me for anything, and he didn't believe in sex before marriage, not that _that_ had ever been a problem for us.

So how did we get here? Was that all it ever was? A crush? If I had waited it out, until he found a new (sane) girlfriend, would we just be good, great friends? I still loved him. I couldn't lie to myself about that, but was I _in_ love with him? How had his feelings for me have bloomed into this beautiful thing that all girls wanted, and mine had remained as friends?

No, I loved him, I was just young. That was what I had convinced myself the last time I had laid in my bed like this anyway. I was just young. I wanted to go out and experience all the things stupid, young girls did at this age, but couldn't because I was tied down. That was what was masking my feelings for Edward, I was sure. It was just resentment because I couldn't be like Rose. I couldn't just go out and do what I wanted when I could. I couldn't meet new guys and just make out (and me and Edward had _never_ made out hardcore like her and Emmett had)! I couldn't go out to parties because Edward hated parties, whereas I loved them.

Once I was older and over all this, I would be able to find all that love because I knew it was there . . . it had to be. Until then I would just have to work on a compromise. A few parties, or I would just go crazy. Edward was understanding, he would work with me.

My stomach flipped as those blue eyes from early that day at school crept into my mind. I couldn't even go down that road. I shook my head, but the image still remained, and until midnight I argued about going back to the stadium where I first saw him. It was crazy and pointless. I would never see him again, and I had a boyfr- no fiance! However, his eyes were in my dreams that night, I was sure of it.

The next morning, I awoke with the worse feeling. Something told me to stay in bed, to play sick. Something inside me shrieked to lock myself in the closet, but my mom came to force me out of bed all the same. The day was not as bad as the day before, or as bad as my 'woman's intuition' had told me that morning, I had to admit. My future wedding was still the main topic of the day next to what was going down this weekend (movies in the next town). I kept getting asked for a date and wedding plans, but I finally found the perfect excuse (which I made myself to believe was the truth); I was focusing on prom and graduation at the moment. Planning would start after college registration. College alone was even too stressing to deal with at the moment.

"How was your day ladies," Edward greeted me and Rosalie as we exited gym and headed towards the parking lot. To my dissapointment, I couldn't really see the stadium.

"Fabulous," Rosalie said in a monotone. "Your day?"

Edward shrugged as he feel into step with us and Rosalie continued her conversation with me. "I just sent out my application for Arizona State University."

"Arizona," I could feel my eyes growing wide. "But that's soooo far away."

"The further the better," she said, always so independent. "I think I can get a scholarship with volleyball. There's no way my mom can afford it all."

"You know my parents will help you," I reminded her for the hundereth time. "You are like my sister after all."

"I can't accept that," she shook her head. "They helped us enough already with my mom, thanks though. I'll call you later."

She turned and headed in the direction of her father's old car. I could tell she hated driving it since he passed away three years ago. She never drove anywhere if she could help it. I followed Edward to the car as he tried to strike up conversation. "Mom said to come over around five thrity."

"Ok, Edward . . . do you think . . . I could drive," I asked timidly.

You would have thought I had just told the funniest story ever with the way he burst into a fit of laughter before heading over to the driver side and slid in. "No."

I slid into the seat, annoyed. I never got to drive anywhere. He drove me to and from school, to the movies, to the store, everywhere. My parents didn't allow me to drive my pretty honda fit either if they could help it. They said, and Edward agreed, that I was too easily distracted to be behind the wheel. I squirmed in my seat as that feeling of being forever trapped ate away at me.

"I want twenty in gas ," Edward said as we turned into a nearby gas station and he handed me the money, "and get whatever you want."

I said nothing, still slightly annoyed, as we both got out of the car. He walked to the pump as I walked into the store.

"Hi Miss Thompson," I greeted the cashier.

"Hello Miss Alice," she replied cheerfully.

"Twenty in gas please," I said handing her the twenty dollar bill.

"Ok dear."

I walked away to browse the chip isle as the bell rung for another customer, but saw nothing and hurridly rounded the corner. I was thrilled to see the last bag of Resse's cup. I ran to it, ignoring the figure that was approaching opposite me. I reached for the bag as another hand reached for the same thing "Hey these are mine!"

I pouted, turning angry eyes upward to the tall man that towered over me, but once I saw him, I thought I might die. "James!"

"Well isn't this a pleasant surprise?"

His voice was a lewd as I had remembered it. His brown eyes still had that creepy glint. He smirked and chills raced up and down my spine. I instantly hugged myself for warmth as my breath came out ragged, "What are you doing here?"

"Well I'm taking a semester off from college and I thought . . . why not come and visit my close uncle in Forks?"

As he talked he inched ever so closely to my frozen frame and I felt as if he had some power over me. My eyes jumped from his face to his hands, scared that he might get too close, but I couldn't move.

"When are you leaving," my voice was cold and crisp, but he seemed to take no offense in my tone.

"As long as you are around," he replied smoothly finally stopping his slow approach. "Never. You know Alice . . . I have never stopped thinking about you. I still have your picture in my wallet."

I couldn't respond. I hadn't seen him since the summer before my freshman year. Surely he couldn't be serious. He had been . . . crazy. My parents had refused to let me see him because he had just graduated and was "too old and mature." That and the reason he was in Forks was because his parents couldn't handle him. Of course, being the stupid teenage I was, and angry with Edward who was stuck up Tanya's (his ex girlfriend) ass, I kept seeing him. Until he got . . . crazy. It took me about a month to figure it out myself and I was happy when my parents grounded me and forced me to stay away. Things had gotten worse however, and he started stalking me and even hit me! It didn't leave a mark or was too bad, but still! My father went and spoke with his uncle, a local hardware store owner, and threatened to call the cops on James if he didn't return back to Seattle, Washington. The next week he was gone.

He continued talking in his slow way running his hands through his long blond hair, "I see you haven't gotten any taller since then, but . . . I can see you have filled out-"

"Well I have to be going," I glared at him, eager to escape his presence, "not that this hasn't been fun and all, but I got better things to be doing."

The playful smirk faded as he glared at me. I was quite proud with the look I left him with and I knew I had gotten my message across. I wasn't going to be scared of him!

"You didn't want anything in the store," Edward asked as I crawled back into the car.

"No."

I didn't mention James to Edward. I knew it would start an argument, and I just didn't have the energy for it. Luckily I didn't have to say anything to my parents either once I got home. There was a note waiting for me explaining that they knew of my dinner plans and had gone to Port Angeles for a romantic dinner, and a plea to be extra careful driving. So I had the house to myself, a rare treat, until I jumped into the car.

It wasn't rainy, but boy was it cloudy! It was those dark clouds too, the ones that aren't gray, but a deep blue and their shades make it look like a bright night rather than a dark day. I was almost at Edward's home when I got this bubbling feeling. It was hard to describe as I pressed on the gas and turned onto the deserted street.

My heart was racing, and I had to turn on some poppy sounding music to sing along too. I bellowed with the lyrics of "popular" by the Veronicas as I pulled up to the stop sign. Cars were whizzing past as I waited for a chance to turn left. To my right another car pulled up to wait along with me for the chance to turn right (you couldn't go straight) and I just felt this urge come over me to look to my right.

I did and almost shouted in joy. Staring at me and flashing the most wonderful smile was my mysterious blue eyes. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't believe I was actually staring into that face that was even more handsome upclose. I wondered if he could see how hard and fast my heart was beating, cause I could most certainly feel it.

There was a honk from somewhere behind as we both snapped back to reality. My heart skipped a beat as he waived goodbye and pulled away. Would I ever see him again? If I was crazy, I could have followed him . . .

* * *

ZM: Thanks to all those who have reviewed and added, or just read the story. Hope you were surprised with James's presence lol. Thanks to the Daylighter for betaing LOVE YA TWIN!


	4. Tattletale

"Edward told me he sent off your application with his."

"Huh?"

I quickly grasped at the dirty plate in my hand. How embarrassing it would have been to drop Edward's mom plates in front of her! I had made it to dinner, despite the strong urge to follow my blue-eyed man, and now I was regretting it as I helped Esme, his mother, with dishes.

"For the medical school near Seattle," she further explained herself as I gathered myself together.

"He sent mine?"

"Yes," she said with knowing eyes, "but I didn't know you had an interest in the medical field."

"Me either," I mumbled.

It was silent for a few minutes as I handed her a few more plates. I was infuriated. I couldn't believe he had sent off a college application that I had nothing to do with! One I had never even filled out! I had thought I had made it very clear to everyone Christmas dinner that I had _no_ desire to go to medical school! Nothing against nurses, but I didn't want to be one! The thought of shoving a needle into someone's veins made me a little shaky too. I would probably miss, even if it was a lot like sewing!

"I always thought you would go to a designer school, or do something with fashion," Esme continued on.

I just groaned in reply as I handed her another plate. I was still too upset that he had done this and without even telling me. I guess she could sense my discomfort and anger and she tried to help it, "I'm going into Seattle this Sunday to give a few tips to a couple who will be selling their house. They need to fix it up and make it look sellable . . . I could use your help. You could come with me and give them a few stylish tips."

"Sure Esme," I sighed. "It would be fun."

It would be, I knew it. I had done it before for her and I had done a great job, but I was still too upset to care. Esme sold houses for a living and she was the best. People all the way from Seattle and sometimes further called her for help. I liked fashion in all forms, even houses, but my real passion was with clothes, but I guess I could just give that up . . .

"Thanks for your help Alice," Esme wiped her hands dry, "but I can finish up here."

"Ok."

I walked into the living room where Edward and his father were sitting over a chest board. They looked up as I entered and Carlisle laughed, "Alice! Save Edward the trouble and tell him who is going to win."

"Edward you are going to lose," I said plainly without any emotions, I just wanted to make him upset.

"And you know the motto," his father laughed. "Never bet against Alice!"

"Well she has to be wrong some time," Edward said picking his next move.

"Well it's getting late," I said picking up my coat and keys. "Gotta get moving before it starts raining."

"I'll walk you out," Edward said jumping up and pointing to the board. "No cheating you hear?"

"Like I need to," his father made his move before lounging back in his chair to await Edward.

He grabbed his coat and we left the house with a final thank you and goodbye to Esme, but what I had to say couldn't wait until we got to the car.

"So you already sent out our applications?"

"Yeah," he shrugged like it was no big deal.

"When?"

"Last week," he said.

"Last week," I thought it over. "That's funny? How did you send off an application that I never even touched?"

"It was no big deal," he said not getting the message of how furious I was. "I just used the same Essay you were going to use for-"

"Edward how could you," I had to squeeze my fist to keep from shouting. "You didn't even say anything to me, or ask me! How are you just going to decide what college I will be going to?"

"Whoa Alice," he said finally getting the apparently subtle hint. "It was just an application, you're over reacting! Just because you apply there doesn't mean you will be _going _there. I have several schools I am applying to! But . . . since we are going to be married, I imagined you would want your application sent with my own."

"I thought we would look at a designer school that was close to a medical school you would be attending or one that offered both," I reminded him as my heart raced with anger. "And besides, you need to get your basics first, and you can get them at a designer school and we can transfer later. Don't you remember?"

"Alice," he said pulling me close and running his hands through my short hair. "I thought you agreed with your mother that being a nurse was more . . . tangible than becoming a fashion designer."

"You don't think I could do it," I pushed away from him. "I though husband and wife meant support and that you believe in one another."

"Alice," he continued to try and calm me. "I know you could do it, but not starting here in Forks. I just think you should give nursing a try first to help you save up. Besides, it's like you said . . . you have to get your basics first. We can decide from there."

I turned away and unlocked my car, starting it and turning to him, "Well if we start at a medical school then you've already decided."

I slammed my door shut and rolled out of the drive way. How controlling! Was I so stupid and helpless that I couldn't even fill and send out my _own_ application! I pulled out my cell phone and turned on the Bluetooth speaker.

"Call Rosalie," I commanded at the voice dialing system.

The ringing filled the speakers of my car and was briefly followed by a, "Hello?"

"Rosalie?"

"Alice."

"You won't believe what Edward did?"

"I'm sure I will," she said with a bored tone.

"He sent out my college application," I shouted into the steering wheel.

"Oh no . . . you're right," she said placidly. "I can't believe it!"

"Without telling me!"

"What," she said, her voice spiking with confusion. "You mean he sent one out without you knowing about it?"

"Yes," I slammed my hand down on the steering wheel.

I wasn't even driving home anymore, I was just too upset. I turned in a random direction.

"Oh, that is bad," she said with less sarcasm. "That's awfully . . . controlling . . . "

"Do you think I'm over reacting," I asked.

"No, not at all!"

"I need you to do me a favor," I said. "I need you to get me an application to the college you applied to."

"Ooookay," she said with a sigh. "I got an extra copy, I'll give it to you tomorrow."

"Thanks," I said, my anger somewhat subsiding, but I wasn't ready to go home yet. "Oh and you know what else happened today?"

"No."

"I saw James!"

"James," her voice rose three octaves. "Wait . . . he isn't going to show up at my house looking for you again is he?"

"Maybe," I rolled my eyes at the memory. "He made it clear he still wanted me."

She groaned into my speakers, "He's a creep. Did you tell Edward?"

"Not yet."

"What about your parents?"

"No."

"Well you better let them know so they can keep an eye out," she warned.

"Are you kidding," I laughed. "The only time I get to go out is when Edward's with me and sometimes you. They will lock me up in the house and throw away the key if they find out he's around."

"Yeah that's true," she laughed. "Well it's been almost four years, maybe he's not as bad anymore, but we will talk tomorrow at school about it."

"Ok. Talk to you then."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I pulled up to the house and saw the front door open as soon as my car door opened.

"Alice where have you been," my mother shouted. "It's been twenty minutes since you left Edward's house and it only takes ten to get back."

"How do you know when I left his house," I asked walking up to the front door where she was yelling.

"Edward called and said that you were upset about an application to college and was talking about designer school again," she clarified and I rolled my eyes.

"What are we still five years old? Does he really have to call and tattle on me for that," I rolled my eyes.

"Don't talk like that young lady and tell me where have you been?"

"I stopped at the gas store," I lied as I pulled off my coat, "I wanted some gum. Want a piece?"

"A piece of gum doesn't keep you ten minutes," she shouted.

"Mom I'm eighteen," I groaned, the day's toll taking over me. "Lighten up! I went and got a piece of gum and looked around for a minute. It started sleeting so I drove extra slow and careful! Isn't that what you wanted!"

"Don't talk to me like that! You may be eighteen, but you are still under my roof and as long as you are, you will do what I say! Now go to your room," she shouted.

"Gladly!"

I stomped up the stairs and slammed the door. I wasn't really upset with my mom. I mean she was always this overbearing and overprotective, but she was my mother. So I guessed it was just in her job description, although an extra ten minutes was hardly anything to scream about. Who I was really loathing at the moment was Edward, and I was sure that was the reason she was really upset about those extra ten minues.

I opened my cell phone and sent the text, _Thanks tattletale!_ I also silenced the phone because I didn't want to see his response. I laid back on the bed and clapped my hands hard for the light to go off. Yes I had been upset about the application, so what? Was that not allowed anymore? Was I suppose to be all _oh, okay Edward whatever you want_. No! I was my own person and I was an adult now. Mostly. Adult enough that he didn't have to call and cry to my mom because I had gotten mad at him!

I rolled over and let my anger fester until I fell asleep. In my nightmares that night I was lying next to Edward in my wedding gown and it was suffocating me! It was so tight I couldn't breath. I thought I was going to die, but then my phone alarm went off.

Ugggg.

I rolled over and slammed the snooze button. When it went back off, so did the alarm on my cell phone. I opened it to see five missed calls and three text messages. In this order.

_Alice I wasn't trying to get you in trouble, I just wanted your mom to know you were upset I love you._

_Alice please answer the phone. I love you baby._

_Fine, we will talk when I come and pick you up. I love you._

He's whiny!

When I finally did get in the car with him he only said, "I'm sorry Alice. I wasn't trying to get you in trouble. I love you."

I turned to see those green eyes under that messy hair and I could see the trace of the small boy who I used to play with in his face. I could see that sad look he would get when his ice cream melted to fast, or his parents would get upset with him.

"I love you too."

. . . and I'm a pushover!

When I got to my first class Rosalie was there to greet me with the papers. "Here's your application."

"Thank you," I said to overwhelmed with apathy to even look at it.

I didn't say much for the rest of the day. Walking to lunch however Mike found us. "So we got the movie and tickets. Saturday we will all meet in Port Angeles at five!"

"What's the movie," Rosalie asked.

"It's a surprise," he laughed.

"Oh, how exciting," she scoffed.

"Always so full of sarcasm and life," he rolled his eyes. "Hey what's up there?"

"A table and food," Rosalie answered with little patience.

He rolled his eyes as we spotted the knot of bodies at the lunch room doors. It was mostly guys, but there was a few girls mixed in there. I was so short, I couldn't really see what they were all bent over. The taller people were blocking the view. "I'm going to look."

I pushed my way through the crowd and being small and petite made it a lot easier than most people would think. I got to the front of the table and picked up the flyer.

"Hey hand me a pen please," a student said next to me.

I reached to my left and handed him a pen so he could start filling out a form for additional information and then turned over the flyer in my hand.

"Oh," I said in disappointment.

It was just a flyer about joining the army. Something I had no interest in what so ever. I was about to back away when I heard a deep voice say across the table in a southern accent, "I know you."

I looked up as the pit of my stomach started to churn with nerves. Flashing an amazing smile was none other than my blue eyed mystery man.

Suddenly this day was looking a lot better!

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**ZM **Hey guys, just wanted to say a quick thank you for all the support I have gotten for this story, it's a big one to me lol. So I really hope to hear your comments and thoughts and I hope I left you with a nice cliffy! Please don't be shy and drop and review! Thanks to The Daylighter for Betaing!


	5. Beautiful

_**Wed.**_

"Yeah," he said, his smile widening. "I thought I recognized you."

I stared into the face clearly for the first time and this time there was no distance to blur his features. His eyes were electric blue in golden tan skin. I could tell he spent a lot of time outside. He had strong, high cheek bones that defined his handsome face and a strong, low jaw line to match. There was no facial hair, but he didn't look as young as me. Maybe in his early twenties. His hair was brighter blond than I had realized with curls, and he was tall. Tall men are sexy! He was a good six feet even, towering over me.

"My name is Jasper, I don't think we've met properly," he said placing his hand out.

My body started doing all those cliché things I had read about, but had never experienced. Well, not at this rate! My heart was beating so hard and loud I was sure he could hear it. My hands started shaking with the adrenaline that was racing through me and my breath was just as shaky. "I'm Alice."

He took my hand and it was like grabbing an electric fence. My heart jolted with the physical contact and it took my breath away. I didn't want to slide my hand from his, but I had too. "Well Alice, are you wanting to join the army?"

If I can be with you, yes!

"No, I don't think I could do much damage."

He tilted his head with a chuckle as he took in my full four foot, ten inches and said with a smirk, "Well who knows? You could be the perfect assassin at the height. No one would expect it."

We both laughed together, our laughter mixing in perfect harmony. My soprano, and his deep bass. The moment felt so right. Like it should be in some low budget movie with some cute piano music. Silly, but that's how I felt. "I guess you have a point."

"Alice come on," Rosalie shouted from the other end of the table and I instantly took a step in her direction.

"Hey wait a moment," he said taking a pen from some kid's hand and another piece of paper. "Take this . . . in case, you know, you have an interest in becoming an assassin . . . or just talking."

I giggled as he slid the paper across the table. "I'll think it over."

I winked at his smiling face and retreated to where Rosalie was standing. I could feel how red my face was, but I hadn't realized how noticeable it was.

"Spill Alice!"

"I've been seeing that guy all over town," I said as the butterflies flew within my stomach. "Today is the first time I've talked to him . . . and he gave me his number."

"Are you going to call him," she asked.

"What? No! I have a boyfriend."

I wasn't very convincing, but she dropped the subject as Edward walked over. The rest of the day I was distracted with my own inner turmoil. Should I call him? He was expecting my phone call and it would be rude not to call him. I should call him just to tell him I wasn't going to be calling him, and tell him I had a boyfriend. Maybe he would respect that and then I wouldn't _have_ to fight my attraction for him. He would end it himself. Yeah. My lie was beginning to convince me.

"Are you coming over to my house," Edward asked as we drove away from the school.

"What?"

"I said are you coming over to my house, or should we go to yours," he asked.

"I think," I said as my hands began to twist the ring on my finger, "you should just drop me off at my house."

"Just drop you off," his voice had an edge to it, but I knew this would be coming and was prepared. I reminded myself of Jasper for help.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"This is about last night isn't it," he said with a sigh. "You're still mad."

I had totally forgotten about last night, and at that moment it didn't bother me, but I was looking for a fight. "You are getting too controlling Edward! I mean really? I can't even fill out my own college application?"

"Alice," he said his voice getting louder, but not much.

We never really fought, well, he never really fought. I screamed and argued, but he always so laid back. I was doing it lot more lately too, but it was hard to push him to that edge, but I was pushing. I was just looking for a reason to argue. I was hoping it would make an easy escape where he would just get so fed up with me, but his patience had no end.

"You know that is not true, I already explained-"

"I haven't been able to pick out a single college," I shouted as we pulled into my house and I was thankful to see neither of my parents were home yet. "You chose them all, and I haven't seen you filling out an application to one I want to go to!"

"Alice you are over reacting," he said.

"No, I already told you all at Christmas I didn't want to go to nursing school. I'm an adult Edward," I said getting out of the car and holding the car door open so I could keep yelling. "You can't decide everything for me!"

I slammed the door shut and stormed to the house as he shouted after me, "Alice we aren't done talking yet."

"Oh why," I shouted as I pulled out my keys and began to unlock the door. "Because you decided for us!"

"Alice listen to me," he shouted as I opened the door.

"I've decided that _I_ am done talking," I shouted in the doorway. "But if you wish to keep talking, call someone else!"

I slammed the door shut and dialed Rosalie's number as his tires kicked up gravel.

"Hey Rosalie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I come stay at your place tonight?"

"Really," her voice was full of laughter. "You mean your mom will let you?"

"I'm eighteen, she can't stop me," I said.

"Ok, just call when you are on your way," she said before we said our goodbyes.

It was only twenty minutes before my parents arrived home, but I already had my stuff packed and in my car.

"Mom, is it ok if I spend the night at Rosalie's," I asked.

"Why," she asked.

"Well I haven't really hung out with her," I said honestly.

"You see her everyday at school," she said.

"Yeah, but that's at school," I tried to keep the strain out of my voice. "We can't really talk."

"Can't it wait until the weekend," she tried to fake a compromise as my father walked into the kitchen with us.

"What's for dinner honey," he asked.

"Nothing in the 'fridge," she rolled her eyes as he began to raid. "So get out of it."

"I can't," I said. "Friday she will be working with her mom, and Sunday I'm going to Seattle with Edward's mom for some work."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you can call and ask her," I sighed. "Please mom."

"After the way you talked to me last night," she stiffed.

I had forgotten about that. "Sorry mom, I was mad at Edward."

"Let her go babe," my dad said. "It's not good that she spends all her time with only Edward."

"Fine," she said in defeat. "Go."

"Thanks," I said grabbing them both for a hug. "I'll call you when I get there."

And I did call as soon as I got there and in high spirits. I felt a little more free as I walked into her door.

"Spill." Rosalie said as soon as the phone was hung up.

"I already did," I said.

"But did you call him yet?"

"No," I sighed.

"You'll call him before the end of the night, watch," she laughed.

"Hey Alice," her mother said as she walked into the living room. "I couldn't believe you were coming over! And congratulations!"

"Thanks," I said as she hugged me.

"Well wish I could stay and chat, but I'm off to the hospital," she said as she walked out the door.

"So what do you want to do," Rosalie said.

"Anything!"

It was so liberating to be at Rosalie's house, and without my phone going off! I had wrote Edward to say not to pick me up tomorrow, and he said ok, and that was the end of it. Normally when I went somewhere without him I got at least two phone calls every hour, but not this afternoon. We gossiped about school and the hospital where not only did my mother and father work, but also her mother and Edward's father, so we knew a lot! Then the moment of truth came.

"It's nine," Rosalie said.

"That's what those numbers mean," I giggled.

"You better call him," she pressed, "or it will be awkward at school tomorrow."

I knew she was aching for me to call him as much as I was! She also knew I needed the reinforcement too.

"Yeah," I sighed in defeat, but could hardly suppress the smile knowing I would be hearing his voice. "I should tell him I have a boyfriend."

She handed me my cell and I sighed as I pulled out the paper with his number written on it. My heart rate spiked with the first ring and I didn't have time to calm it by the second ring followed by his voice. "Hello?"

"Hi, Jasper," I stood up, unable to stay in one place.

"Yeah. Is this Miss Alice," he said playfully and I giggled stupidly.

"Yeah, it's me."

"I was beginning to worry you weren't going to call," he said and I almost melted.

"Well," I started and paced in a circle.

I saw Rosalie with her eyes narrowed and arms crossed. I had an audience, and I couldn't fake this. "I thought it would be rude not to call, but there is something I have to tell you."

"Oh," he said with hurt in his voice. "Its about the ring on your finger isn't it?"

I looked at the lone ring on my left hand and sighed, "Yeah."

"I understand," the life in his deep voice fading with each syllable. "But, I still had to hope right?"

"Right," I mumbled.

"We can be friends," he said, the life slowly returning, but not like before.

"Yeah, we can be friends," I said with little belief in that.

"Well Alice, my friend," he said. "I have to get going, but maybe I will see you around?"

"Yeah, I'll be seeing you," I sighed.

"Ok, I'll see you then . . . "

We never said goodbye before the phone call ended, and I knew we never would, or at least, I never wanted to. I looked into Rosalie's face and saw the concern on her face.

"He already knew I had a boyfriend," I said. "He saw the ring. He said we could be friends and he'd see me around."

The look on her face didn't vanish as I sat back down with her. She sighed before looking at me, "Before I met Emmett, I thought you and Edward were the perfect couple. I thought you two were both so in love. Then I met . . . him, and I fell in love . . . and ever since him . . . I've been wanting to tell you. You're not in love Alice."

I could instantly feel the tears burning in my eyes as my denial was put up front by my best friend who I couldn't lie to. "I do love him Rosalie-"

"But you are not in love with him," she stated.

I couldn't respond to that, because I didn't want to admit it. "I think I just resent him a little because I can't do all the things I want to do, you know. I can't be a normal teenager, cause I'm more like a wife to him. If I had met him or got together with him a few years later in life we would be perfect."

The tears began to fall as frustration took over. "I'm afraid to throw all that away just so I can act like a silly teenager. Everyone always tells me I will never find a guy who loves me like he loves me and they are right. Edward would do anything for me and he is such a good guy! Everyone loves him! I can't throw all of that away and then in a few years regret it!"

"If you stay with him you will resent him more," Rosalie tried to reason with me. "You don't have a life of your own Alice and you wont if you stay with him."

"I don't want to hurt him," I said as my cell started to play a tone telling me I had a new text message.

"I know you don't," Rosalie said. "And I'm not trying to tell you what to do, just what I think. You are not happy with him, even if he is a good man."

I laid back, drying my tears before picking up my cell. I recognized the number that had texted me as Jasper and all the pain was washed away as I read it.

_I just wanted to say this once before we start acting like friends. When I first saw you sitting on the bleachers I knew you were something special and I wanted to get to know you more. If I can only find out by being your friend I don't mind at all and I will respect you and the relationship you are in, but I want you to know that you are beautiful._

_

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_

**ZM : **Yay their first conversation! :D makes me all giddy inside. Tell me what you guys think about what Alice told Rosalie? Can you understand what she means? Can you sympathize? Don't be afraid to tell me if you think she is being just plain stupid, or that you understand what she means but still? ITS JASPER! Love to hear your thoughts! Thanks guys! BTW : On vacation with my family that I see every two years so I might be a little slow in getting the updates to all my stories such as this one **My Mark** and **Nights Shadow**


	6. Texts

**_Thursday_**

**_

* * *

_**

I awoke the next morning with mixed emotions. I was excited because I would be seeing Jasper, but I was also dreading seeing Edward. I looked over to see one simple text message that read _Good Morning._

I wasted no time in replying the same and to ask how he was to which he replied, _Can't complain. On your way to school?_

_**Sadly yes. You will be there right?**_

_Until the end of this week._

_**Until the end of the week? Will you be staying in Forks for a while longer.**_

_For a little while, then I will be heading to Seattle._

_**I bet you do a lot of traveling, it must be nice. I wish I could do more traveling.**_

_Have you not ever been out of Forks?_

_**Yeah. My family takes big vacations all the time with their friends, but I've always been with them. So I can't do my own thing lol. **_

Lol means laugh out loud for all you text illiterates out there like Edward.

"Are you going to spend all morning texting," Rosalie called my attention away from the screen,"or are we going to go to school."

"Sure, will you drive so I have to come back and get my car," I asked.

"Yeah," she laughed at my tretchery.

By the time I had reached school I had a list of all the places Jasper had been so far and had even asked a few questions. He had been to Europe on for his three year tour in which he saw no real action. The last two years had spent traveling as a recruiter and had excellent numbers of people who had joined under him. I turned the phone on silence, recapping for Rosalie the conversation we had had thus far. As I excitedly hid the phone she giggled, "You know you are glowing?"

"Huh, really," I said pulling down the visor and examining my face.

Even I could tell there was a spark of light within my eyes and smile that I had not seen in a long time. Then I spotted Edward headed our way, and I could visibly see the sparkle fade.

"Good luck," she said stepping out and passing Edward with a small hi.

I got out and instantly felt like gagging with my nerves. My nerves had me shaking so bad I wasn't sure what I should say. "Hey."

"You're right," he stopped in his tracks and began to spill. "Alice, I wasn't being fair to you and I'm sorry. I should have asked you what you wanted and I didn't, will you forgive me."

He looked up at me with those big green eyes and I felt so guilty. Guilty for yelling at him, for being so mean to him when I could have approached it like an adult and talked it out; and guilty for texting another guy, even if we were just "friends." I was also dissapointed. Disappointed that he had caved in so easily, that our fight was over, and that he was apologizing. Of course that disappointment only made me feel even more guilty! So, I nodded and he walked over and kissed me.

As his lips touched my own, I felt nothing but a desire for it to stop, and then more guilt for feeling that! It was like I couldn't win and as he wrapped his arm around me to walk into the school building. I felt suffocated. People looked at us as we walked by and I didn't feel like Alice. I felt like Edward's girl, and that was all. At the time, I hadn't figured this out, but looking back now I knew what to call it.

The minute I sat down in home room class I felt like I could breath again. My heart began to pound with excitment as I pulled out my cell phone and it spiked when I saw the envelope saying I had a new message.

_Can I ask a few things about you? Get to know you a little better? _His message read.

_**Only if I can do the same. **_

I don't think I stopped smiling through the following hours of texting until lunch. I felt like I was floating on clouds as I snuck my texting behind a purse and a fellow pupil's back. I always loved to meet new people, but I had never felt so exilerated before.

_How old are you?_ He started our rounds of question.

**I am eighteen, a senior now, finally! And you?**

_I'm twenty-three. Do you like Mexican food?_

_**Lol, yeah I guess. Haven't really had it in a while. Why do you?**_

By the time lunch had came around we had learned the basics about each other and how different and alike we were. We were both only children and both born in the south, although I didn't grow up there having moved here before I was one. He, however, had been born and raised in Texas. His favorite color was green. When he had asked for mine I told him I didn't have one because I was colorful and that everyday was different, but today I was feeling yellow. Honestly it was his hair color that I was thinking about. His hobbies were playing guitar, and I answered mine was fashion.

_Of all the places I've been, this one is the grayest._

_**Yeah there are times I forget what the sun looks like.**_

_Lol, well my day is about to get a lot brighter?_

_**Really how so?**_

_It's about time for lunch and I hope you can stop by and say hello. That would make my day brighter._

_**I might be able to pull that off ;)**_

_See you then._

"Edward thinks you look so happy because you two made up," Rosalie said as I joined her in our walk to lunch.

I frowned at her, "You know why . . . do you think . . . badly of me?"

"Of course not," Rosalie said. "I think you are going to make things worse than they have to be though. You should end it with Edward, that's what _I _think, but whatever you do, I will support you. You are my friend after all."

"Thanks Rosalie," I smiled.

We neared the lunch room and Rosalie sped up, "I'll find Edward and cover for you, but remember what I said!"

I nodded as she ran off. She knew me so well considering I had not spoken of my plans to stop and say hello to Jasper. I was glad to see a knot of kids at the army table outside of the lunch room, even if it was smaller. It would provide for some protection. Jasper who was a good six feet spotted me easily over the shorter heads.

"Hey," he said as I neared the table.

I tried to keep my breath steady. "Hiya."

"I'm not going to get you in trouble am I," he asked as my fear for getting caught sunk in.

"I'll be ok, but I can't stay for long."

There was an awkward silence to follow but he ended with, "I like this better."

"What?"

"Being able to see you," he said with a small blush that hinted that he was sincere.

"Me too, texting isn't the same huh?"

"Can we meet? Somewhere . . . tonight?"

"Like where," I asked.

"Anywhere, just somewhere we can talk. You can choose! Where ever you will feel comfortable."

"Well," I said glancing to the crowded lunch room, but spotting none of my close friends.

I knew I had to say no. I was playing with fire, but getting burned didn't seem all that bad. "Ok, I'll text you at the end of school with a place."

He nodded, "I'll be waiting."

I waived a small goodbye and I tried to cover my cheeks with my shaky hands as I jumped into a lunch line for food. I had to steady my breath and heart before I sat at a table. I had mostly managed by the time I took my seat between Edward and Rosalie. There was more people at our table today.

"He's kind of cute," Jennifer from my first period class said.

"I know I am," Mike shrugged non chalantly from across the table.

"Not you idiot," Angela said. "She's talking about military guy."

Everyone on my side of the table turned to see my blue eye man standing at the cafeteria door with the same coach I had seen him talking to the first time I saw him. Our eyes met and I quickly turned around hoping no one had noticed, or noticed how red my face was.

"Oh, that's Jasper," Rosalie stated as if it were nothing.

"You know tall and handsome," Jennifer gaped.

"Yeah, he was around last year," she lied easily as she ripped a ketchup packet open. "Isn't that right Alice?"

"Yeah," my voice had a slight quaver. "He's a cool guy."

"You know him," Edward questioned and I didn't miss the double edge in his voice.

"Of course," I tried to keep my movement slow and my voice steady. "He's our friend. We talk to him every now and then."

"Do you still talk to Chad," Jennifer asked.

"Yeah," I said easily, this one wasn't a lie. "He e-mails us all the time. He's actually planning on going over seas!"

"What," she said as a new conversation came up.

I threw myself into the conversation one hundred percent, making sure it never lead back to Jasper again. It wasn't until we reached gym that I even brought him up at all.

"Rosalie," I said as we changed in the locker room. "I need your help."

"What kind of help," she eyed me suspiciously.

"The kind of help I used to give you when you were struggling in _math_," my eyes grew wide.

She stared at me in disbelief for a second as she grasped at what I was hinting at. She had been sneaking around and seeing Emmett while her father was still around. He was a strict man who refused to allow her to date and go out. He loved me though and convincing him that she was with me shopping, or spending the night, or studying for math (her worst subject) had been no trouble at all, even if she was all the way in Port Angeles.

"Fine," she said. "Have you already talked to your mom?"

"Yes," I said. "I wrote her that me and you were going to look at some prom dresses to get an idea of where we wanted to go shopping."

"And Edward," she asked.

"Same thing. I told him I wanted the dress to be a surprise so he wouldn't come."

"Evil little pixie," she giggled as we made our way onto the court.

* * *

**ZM** : I have been hit with inspiration for this story. I just love it so much, probably because most of it happened to me, just different, lol. Plus I was so excited with what reviews I did get that I had to get a post up asap. Thank you guys who took the time to review, they were awesome and I hope you do it again! I hope to hear from some new people too! Let me know what you hope to see happen! I really love to hear from you guys and get new inspiration!

Question for you guys : I am thinking about for all the reviews, I send you guys a preview of the next chapter because I had WONDERFUL reviews this time around and I want to give a little more back for you taking the time to review. So let me know your thoughts in a review


	7. Coffee Shops

**_Thursday_**

"I'm going to look in that store," Rosalie stated. "You should get a few pictures."

I walked into the dress store that was almost entirely empty and took a quick picture of a cute dress for back up later. Then I saw another and another and took a few more pictures. By the time I rushed out, leaving Rosalie alone (she was there as a precaution) I only had two minutes to get to the coffee store I promised to meet Jasper at.

On the way over my heart began to race and I felt weak with nerves. My whole body felt as if it were being electrocuted and was shaking on its own accord. I was so scared at the same time. What if someone saw us? I shook it off and told myself that if anyone did I would say me and Rosalie bumped into him and that we were talking, but Rosalie had gone off to a store. This was, in a way, the truth.

I opened the door to the coffee shop to find him sitting at a table with his back turned to me. I was sure it was him because no one had curly blond hair like his! He saw me approaching and quickly stood up, pulling the ear buds from his ear.

"Hear, listen to this," he said handing me the earpieces.

"Ok," I said confused as I did as he said.

"I don't know what type of music you like," he said as a guitar began to play softly into my ears, "but I really wanted you to hear it."

_Yesterday I died_

_Tomorrow's bleeding_

_Fall into your sunlight . . . _

The beginning was blissful and relaxing. I sat down to fully listen to the lyrics and their meaning as he left me to order us drinks. The soft acoustic of the guitar and the gentle piano playing in the background was enough to put my beating heart at a subtler tempo. I felt at piece there in that little coffee shop as the music tapered off.

The piano grew in volume as the music's tempo picked up for the final verses.

_And I've lost who I am_

_And I can't understand_

_Why my heart is so broken_

_Rejecting your love_

There was a double edge to the meaning of the words and they touched me in ways I could not describe. I knew it was a Christian song, and a beautiful one at that, but it applied too more than my relationship with the Lord. It spoke of my life.

_All I know is that the end's beginning_

_Who I am from the start,_

_Take me home to my heart._

_Let me go and I will run, _

_I will not be silent._

_All this time spend in vain,_

_wasted years,_

_wasted game._

_All is lost, hope remains_

_and this war is not over._

I had lost myself trying to be the perfect daughter, and the perfect girlfriend. I had lost myself in trying to make myself love someone in a way I could not love them. I needed to let it all go and run away, to find myself again. I had wasted so much time on trying to change something I could not change. Now I would have to lose it all, but I still had hope. This war wasn't over. I could still find _my_ happiness.

_There's a light, there's a sun_

_taking all the shattered ones_

Jasper handed me a drink and I looked up into his shining face. He was my sun. Even if we never became more, or even if one day we did and it all ended. He was my light, my sun, who was leading me back to myself. I was thankful for that. I didn't want to tell him though . . . I knew it sounded somewhat corny.

"It's a beautiful song," I said taking the buds out of my ears and taking a sip of the hot chocolate.

"I think of you when I hear it," he confessed with a red tint in his cheeks.

"Really," I was surprised. "Why?"

"Well it's always been a favorite of mine, but I hadn't heard it in a long time. The first day I saw you . . . I heard it that mornin' and I knew it was gonna be a special day, and every time I have seen you since then, I've heard that song" he said. "It was kind of like . . . a sign."

I sat in awe struck as I turned over his words in my head. The song was like a sign for him and I knew it was something special, but he took my silence the wrong way.

"Yeah, it's silly I know," he mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"No," I shook my head. "No, I don't think that at all! I understand completely. There are days I get this weird feeling, I can't really describe it, but I know something big is going to happen! I had that same feeling when I first met you."

He smiled at me as another silence passed between us. It wasn't awkward in any way, but I didn't want it to extend too long. I was hoping for more time to hear his voice.

"So you can tell the future or somethin'," he joked in an attempt to lighten the mood some.

"My family says I have a sixth sense about things like that," I shrugged with a smirk.

"Well can you tell me my future," he wagged his eyebrows and I giggled.

"Let me see your palm," I played along.

It was just an excuse to feel some skin contact, and it worked. He laid his hand into my smaller ones. They were the hands of a man used to hard labor. They wore faint scars and the skin was tough. I traced my French tipped fingernail across one of the lines in his palm and noticed the goose bumps that rose across his arm as I tried to control my breath. "I see a long life ahead of you, and this line right here . . is your love life."

"Tell me do you see a petite girl there," he eyed me cautiously with a small smile. "Maybe one with long black hair."

I smiled back, but I could not answer as I pulled my hands away gently. The fear of what I was doing was sinking in. I was hurting Edward in a way I could not even begin to think of, and not only was I hurting him but also my family. My mother would be devastated and my father disappointed! I parted my long hair to the side and began to comb through it nervously.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly as his hand retreated back to his side of the table, " . . .I do think you have beautiful hair though."

"I hate it," I said firmly.

"Why?"

"It's so long," I sighed. "It's pretty, I agree, but it literally gives me a head ache, and it gets in my way."

My hair had gotten so long I sat on it sometimes. It also weighed too much and pulled my scalp giving me headaches, especially if I tried to put it in ponytails.

"Why don't you cut it," he cocked his head to one side as if trying to picture me with short hair.

"I would love to," I said. "I'd flip it out and spike it in the back."

I knew it would be cute! I had wanted to do it for so long, but I couldn't. My mother cried every time I got it trimmed! I couldn't imagine the reaction she would have if I came home with it chopped off. When I was little and begged her to allow me to cut it she refused to do such a thing and yelled at me. And Edward! Oh Edward would have a heart attack. He adored my long hair. He refused to let me cut it! He told me one time when I had mentioned it, that it would be like kissing a guy if I did such a thing.

"So cut it then," he chuckled.

"Do you really think I should," I asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "If you really want to. It's your hair after all."

"So tell me Jasper, what made you decide to join the army," I asked eager to turn the conversation back on him.

"I wanted to travel," he said. "I grew up in the ranches in Texas and had never been outside the state. I wanted to see a little bit of the world before I go back home."

"So did you ever go to college," I asked eager to know all about him.

"I studied on the job," he laughed. "Night classes and engineering on the field."

"Wow," I said knowing engineering to be a very prestigious thing. "So what are your future plans."

"I can retire," he shrugged, "before next Christmas if I want, or I can stay on as a recruiter. I could also ask for deployment in Japan. I've always wanted to visit there."

"What will you do," I asked.

"I haven't decided yet," he chuckled. "What about you?"

"Nothing that interesting," I sighed enviously. "College."

"What are you going to be," he asked.

"A nurse," I sighed.

A moment of silence passed again as I contemplated my future and grimaced. Poking people with needles . . . drawing blood from them . . . cleaning up after they got sick . . . can someone just kill me now?

"What do you _want _to be," he asked interrupting my self-pity.

"Huh?"

I looked into his face and saw he was staring at me, through me. His electric blue eyes bore into me and he could tell I was unhappy with my chosen profession. No one, save Rosalie, had ever asked me what I _wanted_ to be, only what _would_ I be. No one had ever seen the dissatisfaction I held for my chosen occupation either. Except him.

"What makes you think I don't want to be a nurse," I asked.

"I never said I thought that, but I can see in your face and hear in your voice you don't want to do that," he crossed his arms and pulled closer to the table's edge.

"I want to be a fashion designer," I mocked his movements, scraping the chair against the floor.

"Then why don't you," he asked.

"My family," I sighed.

"What about this fiancé of yours," he asked. "What does he say?"

"He fills out my college applications for me and tells me I'm going to medical school," I mumbled under my breath, but he understood perfectly.

"Alice," he said placing his hand on mine and my heart fluttered. "I'm gonna tell you the same thing I tell the men looking to sign up for the army every day. This is _your_ future, the rest of _your _life, and it's _your_ decision. It's not somethin' you can let others decide for you, because in the end . . . they wont be the ones livin' it."

I smiled at his words of wisdom. "Thanks Jasper."

"Well, about this future telling thing," he chuckled pulling his hand away. "Can you tell who will win the next superbowl?"

We spent the next two hours discussing all facets of life. We discussed music and music, law and politics, religion and fate, and love and happiness. Never once did I answer Edward's ringtone during our conversation. Never once did I glance at the clock to see how much longer I had to sit with him. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. We could discuss all things with great interest, but we always seemed to branch off into a completely different topic before we finished the first one and there was never a silent or awkward moment. We agreed on most things, but the few we did not agree on did not make us feel uncomfortable, or cause tension. Instead it somehow brought us closer together as we tried to understand the other's point of view. I was all bubbles, and rainbows, ha. I was myself. I wasn't trying to please him because he seemed pleased with me as I was.

I didn't answer my phone until Rosalie's ringtone sung out in the almost empty coffee house.

"Hey Rosalie!"

"Hey, Alice," her voice rung in my ear. "It's almost nine and I am bored out of my mind! We need to get back home, your mom just called me."

"Ok," I said as my nerves made their presence known again. "I'm on my way."

"Ok," she said. "I'm outside the coffee shop."

We hung up and I looked into the frowning face across the table. I stood up, grabbing my scarf and purse. "It's late, and I have to get back home."

He nodded, mirroring my movements. "It was really good to spend time like this together. I hope we can do it again soon."

"Me too," I felt my body becoming weak with the sudden lack of adrenaline now that we would be separating. "I had a nice time."

I wanted to kiss him. I did! I was dyeing to, but Edward was always in the back of my mind. Those sad green eyes wouldn't let me. So I did not press for it.

"I hope I see you again soon," he said before leaning in.

I felt his lips touch my cheek and my heart involuntarily fluttered once more. It was something I had not felt in a long time. It was like an old flame had been relit and it burned strong within me. "Me too."

He opened the door for me and I walked out into the night's cold air where I saw Rosalie crossing the street. She threw her cell phone at me saying, "Just in time."

I opened her cell phone and answered my mother's number, "Hello?"

"Alice it's almost nine, where have you been," she said worriedly on the other end.

"Just shopping mom," I said as we crossed the street to head towards our parking area.

"This long? You said you were just going to be _looking_," she complained.

"Mom, when have I ever _not_ taken more time than I said when we were shopping," I rolled my eyes even though she couldn't see it.

"Why haven't you answered Edward? He called to see if you were home yet. He's been trying to call you all afternoon," she said.

"I was busy, me and Rosalie have been chatting you know. It's rude to answer a cell phone in the middle of a conversation," I tried to reason with her, but she wasn't buying.

"Is that it, or do you not want to talk to him," she said curtly. "He told me about that little fight you two had. You can't fool me."

"Fine then mom," I sighed as we sat in the car. "I just didn't want to talk to him. I was busy with Rosalie."

"Well come home quick," she said annoyed. "We will talk later."

"Fine," I said. "Bye."

I hung up the phone as Rosalie laughed, "Are you dating your mother or Edward?"

"Both," I groaned.

"Well listen to this, I heard it and thought of you," she giggled as the song began to play.

I listened to it and instantly realized what she meant. Once the song was over, ironically, I received Edward's text.

_We need to talk._

**_Yes we do._**I wrote back.

I had a lot to say.

* * *

**ZM:) **Alice is sooo bad lol. This chapter was kind of songfict-y lol, and I plan to do the next chapter like this with the song hinted at below. Lets play a game, Review and let me know what song you think it is. Of course I will give you 3 hints 1) has to do with Edward and Alice realtionship 2) Cats and 3) this part! Good LUCK!

Thanks to all those reading this and to those reviewing I appreciate everyone out there.

Song used in this chapter : Trading Yesterday - Shattered and Note I do respect everyone's beliefs and practices. To each his own :D


	8. Epic Fail!

Friday came, despite my dreading and praying. I was sick to my stomach when I crawled into the car. I had gotten lucky with my mother. She had left me alone after seeing the dresses on my phone. Those pictures had served their purpose, distraction, but I wasn't going to get so lucky with Edward.

_We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue_

_And right now radio's all that we can hear_

_Now we ain't talk since we left, it's so over due_

_It's cold outside but between us it's worse in here_

I couldn't help but sing the lyrics over and over in my head. I was glad that Rosalie had let me listen to them. It was a slightly older song, but still new. It was called "I Hate this Part," by the Pussycat dolls, and it was the story of my life- currently. Word for word. The street was different, but it was colder between us than the weather outside. They day was starting out at twenty degrees by the way, yay for living in Forks.

We didn't speak the entire way to school that day. Nor before class. Nor between. I felt a strain on me all day when he was there that was only lifted when lunch came around. I couldn't say much to Jasper today because of the knot of students, mostly girls, around him and the young man alongside of him, but he passed me a note.

"What's this," I asked him.

"A piece of paper," he teased me.

"For what," I said trying to open it, but he pushed it down.

"Don't read it yet," he laughed. "It's a letter!"

"A letter," I questioned, and I supposed I must have sounded shocked.

"Yeah, it's the most amazing thing! Antique really," he taunted. "You put a pen or pencil to the paper and write the letters instead of texting!"

"I suppose you are trying to say my technology isn't good enough," I mocked his sarcasm.

I was so excited to read the note, I could barely contain myself! Before we ever sat down I had mentioned it to Rosalie and she giggled at me. I suppose I looked like a little kid about to go to the zoo.

"But you're still going to . . . do it, right," she whispered.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I hate this part."

"Good luck," she whispered as we sat down.

The giddiness was gone the minute I sat down beside Edward, however. The strain returned and I felt as if I was tied to him. When he moved, I moved in fear that he was going to lash out against me. The silence was just a mask of the anger that lay beneath . . . and he was really, really quiet! It was very evident as well to those around us. Eventually everyone gave up trying to pull out conversation.

The strain instantly disappeared the moment we separated and I felt as if I could breath for the first time. I ran to my seat, ignoring whatever debate the teacher was started and started to unfold the letter. My heart sped up with each fold that was straightened and my breath came out in long gushes of wind. Finally it was open!

_It is two in morning and I want to call you so much, but I don't want to wake you so I decided to write instead. I haven't stopped thinking about you since we left the coffee shop. No, actually that's a lie. I haven't stopped thinking about you since I first saw you. I know I said I would respect your relationship, and I do, but I can't help this feeling. I wanted you to know that I don't see you as just a friend and I don't think I ever will, but I can pretend like I do. For you. I just wanted you to know this. I don't think I am strong enough to pull myself away from you, but maybe you can? If you do I will understand, but if you don't and if you want to only be my friend I can try. Well I should try to sleep I guess. I guess I really just wanted to tell you that I am falling for you._

I had to lay my head on the cold desk to keep from squealing! He was falling for me! Falling for me! Just like I was for him. I had enjoyed our time so much together. I hadn't felt like I was walking on eggshells or trying to be obedient. I was just me!

I had to pass the note onto Rosalie the first chance I got, which was in gym. As she read it she kept saying, whoa! Whoa! Then she folded back up and put it into her purse where no one in my family could find it, just like I use to do for her and Emmett. She didn't know, but I still had those letters. One day she would want them again.

"Well," I asked eagerly.

"Well what," she looked shocked. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm still going to break up for Edward, but I don't want to do it for the wrong reason," I said as we changed into our gym clothes.

"What do you mean Alice," she scoffed.

"I don't want to break up with him for another guy. I mean so far everything is . . . perfect, but what if I get with him and he crazy or-"

"Alice would you stop making excuses," she sounded slightly annoyed. "You have to do this! You're not doing this for the wrong reason. You have wanted to break up with Edward for a _long_ time now! Jasper was just the person who finally made you realize it! And as far as what will happen afterwards, well we will come to that when we get to it."

I didn't say anything, just hugged her. She was right after all. All through gym I tried to prepare myself for what was to come. I tried to envision all the things that he would say, that I would say, that everyone would say. It made things harder!

_The world slows down_

_But my heart beats fast right now_

_I know this is the part_

_Where the end starts_

We got in the car and the ride seemed to be dragging on, as if the world was slowing down. My heart was agonizing with its fast beats. I knew it was time for the end to start, but I couldn't force the words up. They were stuck in my throat and I couldn't get them up.

"Alice-"

"I can't do this anymore!"

The first words he had spoken to me all day was my name, and it was all I needed to force the words up. They came spilling out. Only five words, but they seemed to fill the entire car and press on us, lingering in the silence that followed. He didn't look at me, I think. I couldn't look at him.

"Are you saying you want to break up," he finally asked as we pulled into my driveway, my safe haven.

I couldn't say anything again and I felt so weak, but I just repeated the song in my head. Funny how something like a song can tell your entire story word for word and give you answers to questions you are to afraid to ask, and then give you strength to act on them.

_I can't take it any longer_

_Thought that we were stronger_

_All we do is linger_

_Slipping through our fingers_

_I don't wanna try now_

_All that's left's goodbye to_

_Find a way that I can tell you_

_I hate this part right here_

"Yes."

"Fine," he said and reached over to open the door for me.

I quickly gathered my belongings and literally jumped to the car and didn't look back. My steps were quick to get to the door and I could hear his tires peeling out of the driveway. I slowly turned and stared at the empty driveway and savored the moment. I was free, and it had been easier than I had imagined. I had expected him to fight more, to beg me to rethink my decision, but maybe he had seen the end coming all day.

I couldn't even go inside. The sun was blazing through the trees for once. There was no snow or sleet, just a cold breeze and it was rejuvenating. It was a new day. A different day, and I was different now. I was free. I sat down on the stairs and basked in the sun and it's warmth.

I picked up the cell phone and wrote Rosalie **_I did it. He didn't even put up a fight._**

Her response: _Now the hard part- your mother!_

I didn't even want to think of that. I don't think there was a song for strength about breaking up with your _mother_! So instead I decided to write Jasper. I didn't want to tell him about the break up, not yet. It would be wrong. I needed to give it a few days to prove to everyone it was over.

**_So I am confused now. Do I need to write my response to your letter in a letter? Please tell me the process._**

_Although a letter would be nice, _his response was about a minute delay_, a text is much faster._

**_As your friend, I would like to invite you out tomorrow morning if you are not busy._**

_I'm all yours._

**_Tomorrow I wanna take you to an Indian reservation. They have neat stuff and shops, and it's fun. I haven't been in a while . . . and it's the only cool thing in Forks lol._**

_Ok what time should we meet and where?_

**_At the school, since you know where it is, at eleven._**

_Can't wait!_

**_Me either!_**

"Alice Marie Brandon!"

My head snapped and I wanted to throw up! Those three words used in that order were perhaps the most agonizing and terrorizing thing to pass through my ears.

"Mom?"

"Is there something you would like to tell me," she said at the bottom of the stairs, her arms crossed.

She had that dangerous nurse look on her face and I could only tell her the truth, "Not really . . . "

"Why did Edward call me almost _crying_ to tell me he would no longer be my son-in-law? Did you call off the engagement," she was straining not to yell and her face was red.

"We broke up," I said weakly.

"You mean you broke up with him," she was clenching her fist. No, I didn't think she was going to hit me.

"Yeah . . . "

"For who?"

"What?"

"Who did you break up with him for?"

"What do you mean, mom," I asked.

"You aren't with a guy for almost four years and then just _break up_ with him, Alice," she shouted.

She kept using my name and that mean she was beyond furious. My father often started to cower when his name was used more than once. "Who have you been seeing?"

"Mom, I broke up with Edward because I just don't love him like that! It has nothing to do with another guy," I shouted.

I wasn't lying. I didn't do it to get with someone, far from it. I just couldn't do it any longer! I couldn't pretend to have feelings I didn't have. Yeah, someone else was the reason I realized it, but not the reason I did it.

"I'm not stupid Alice," she raised a step, putting only two between us. "I want to know who this other guy is!"

"There is no other guy mom," I pleaded now, but she shook her head in agitation.

"Alice Brandon, don't you play games with me! You can't fool me! I know there is another guy-"

"Well then why don't you tell me, cause I would sure like to meet him-"

"Don't you talk to me like that? Have you lost your mind Alice," she shouted over me, rising yet another step and I was eye to eye with her now. Scary thing really! "You will never find a guy as good as Edward you know! Never! No one will ever love you like he does!"

"Thanks mom," I shouted, she really had hurt me with that one. "I'm not good enough for another man to love. Thanks!"

"Shut up Alice and stop acting like you're three," she shouted. "Good men are impossible to find, but you've had one your whole life! You wont find another! Now forget whoever this other guy is-"

"There is no other guy," I whined again.

"Really Alice," she scoffed in annoyance. "I'll be damn if my daughter is that type of girl! Now call Edward right now and tell him you were just being stupid- which you are- and-"

"No mom," I shouted to angry and frustrated and hurt to hold in the tears. "If you like Edward so damn much, why don't you call him and date him yourself!"

I ran up to my room with nowhere else to go, despite her threats of my father, and barricaded myself in my room. I put on my playlist, a mix of heavy Breaking Benjamin rock songs and my new anthem, "I hate this part", because I hated this part!

It wasn't until nightfall did I come out of my room. Well, dragged out of my room is a better way to say it. My dad found the skeleton key, I curse that thing to hell and back, and opened the door and turned off the music.

"Alice, Edward is outside. I think you should go out there and talk to him. It would be rude not to."

I had no choice in the matter because I didn't think I could handle my father yelling at me too.

_I know you'll ask me to hold on_

_And carry on like nothing's wrong_

_But there is no more time for lies_

_'Cause I see sunset in your eyes_

"Hey tattletale," I greeted him, taking my anger at my mom out on him.

"Alice please," he said and I noticed the flowers, red roses. "These are for you."

"I don't like Roses," I said. "Every girl gets roses."

"Alice, please just listen to me," he begged.

_I hate this part right here._

I said nothing, all I could do was sing the song over and over for strength, and so he began. "Alice I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone. I have never thought about any girl besides you. Alice tell me what I did wrong to lose you and I will change it. I'll do anything to keep you, please."

_I hate this part right here!_

"Edward, I just can't do this anymore. I'm only eighteen; I can't get married right now-" I found all the excuses, other than the truth. I didn't love him the right way.

"Fine, we don't have to get married. We can wait as long as you want, just promise me you will wear the ring," he tried a compromise.

"I'm sorry Edward, but no. I don't want to be with you. I want to be on my own and-"

"I'll give you more space. I'm so sorry if I have been over crowding you. You need time with your friends and alone, I understand. I'm sorry Alice-" he tried another compromise, begging with tears in his eyes.

_I just can't take these tears._

I felt exhausted under the strain of his tears and my mother's shouts. I collapsed on the bottom step burying my face in my hands. I couldn't look at those green eyes so full of tears. I loved them and the way the shone when he was happy, but not the right way. Not the right way to marry him, and I couldn't look at him crying like this. It was making me weak. I just wanted this to all be over.

"Alice, Alice please," he said between sobs and began to pull my hands away from my face so I was forced to look at him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the college thing. I am. I just want us to be together, where or how doesn't matter. I thought we were stronger-"

"Edward," I pleaded now.

Him using the line in the song pushed me over the edge and I felt like throwing up again. I just couldn't take this. He was killing me with his own pain. I just couldn't take these tears. I had spent so long trying to please everyone and now I was causing them so much pain, and I was the only one who could take it away.

"Alice please give me another chance, and I'll change everything and anything you ask," he pleaded.

"Fine," I said as he let go of my wrist.

They hurt. My head hurt. My chest hurt. I was in physical pain. How sad!

"Do you mean it," he said.

"Yeah," I caved. A song can only do so much. "I just want to go to bed, I've had a very long day . . . "

"Thank you Alice," he said embracing me as I stood and showering me in kisses. "I love you, I really do."

I didn't say anything as he ushered me into the house. I saw my mom watch as he followed me and left me at my door. I instantly collapsed on the beg, my own tears leaking freely as I caught myself back in the same trap I had freed myself again. I cried myself into a restless sleep. One where I didn't really dream because I awoke constantly without knowing I was awake.

I heard Edward tell my mom we were still together and I could hear how happy she was. I heard at some point my father speaking to my mom.

"Alice is young dear," he reasoned with her. "She's eighteen too. She can do what she wants . . . give her space or she will run away from us all. Do you want that?"

Mom said something, but I couldn't remember what the next morning when I awoke at seven. I awoke with a mission. I got ready, putting on the cutest clothes I could find in my rush. I left a note on the table reminding them that I was going out with some friends for the day and later all of us, including Edward, would be watching a movie in Port Angeles, and left.

I jumped in my car and drove towards the school. I had plenty of time. I opened the door of the shop that was just opening at nine.

"Hi, do you have an appointment," the woman behind the desk asked.

"No," I said.

"Well what can we do for you?"

"I would like a hair cut," I said.

"This way," the woman said leading me to a chair. "Would you like a trim?"

"No," I said. "I want it cut to here and flipped out and spiked in the back."

"Are you sure," the woman said as she put the cloak around me. "That's a lot of hair to cut off."

"I'm sure."

I wanted to snap at her, but she did have scissors in her hands. I might not be able to leave Edward. My mom might guilt me into and he might do it as well, but I would be damn if I couldn't have my hair the way I wanted!

*~*

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_Yay Another update! FYI for those who don't know yet, preview for everyone who reviews before the next update :D Thanks again for all your reviews, messages, and just reading! R and R let me know what you think! _


	9. A Day at the Beach

"Wow," Jasper stopped in his tracks to fully admire me. "Don't you look precious?"

I blushed, nervously running my hands through my hair. "You like it?"

"Yeah," he said with a smile.

"Thanks," I said as I shook my keys, my hands needed something to do. "You're the first one to see it- well, other than the girl who cut it. Oh, and the girl who got her hair cut next to me- and the woman who was cutting her hair . . ."

I realized I was stupidly rambling and finally forced my mouth to close. I believed he must have thought I sounded crazy, because that's what I was thinking. He only laughed, taking it as cleverness I suppose. I could feel my cheeks burning either way.

"So where are you taking me," he asked.

"Follow me, it's not to far from here," I said.

"Ok."

We both returned to our cars, and he began to follow me. The Indian Reservation was not far from the town. It was very nice too because it wasn't only full of trees, there was also a beach. Of course it was never really warm enough to swim, but just to be there was nice. To get there however, you did have to go through a bunch of nothingness, during which Jasper called me on my cell.

"You're not taking me somewhere hidden to take advantage of me are you?"

I laughed into the phone and said, "Damn! Now that you caught me I don't think I can!"

"Wait I take that back! I never said that! Hanging up now."

We hung up and once we arrived, I parked in the most hidden spot I could find, not hard with all the trees. I didn't want to risk the obscure chance that someone I knew might come riding down through there.

"This way," I said grabbing his arm and dragging him back across the road.

"What's this place," he said as we reached the log building.

"It's an Native American store," I said. "They sell hand made stuff from the reservation and the money goes back to keeping it clean and stuff, or at least that's what I was told."

As we climbed up the stairs I noticed a very beautiful Indian girl, probably not much younger than us. She had long black hair that was braided down her back, and beautiful tan skin. She was peering through a window, but I wasn't sure at what. However, as soon as we approached she turned, blushing and ran off.

I didn't say anything about her as we entered the store, but I did think it was odd. "I haven't been here since I was a little girl."

He took in the store as an older man in a wheel chair greeted us. The store hadn't changed either. There were dolls, hunting gear, weaved blankets and such, and jewelery. Me and Jasper talked about trifle things as we rummaged through the goods, grabbing whatever we thought we would want to buy. It was mostly about me. I told him about the school and how everyone knew everyone. I knew all the families in the area and had grown up with them. I told him what we did for fun, because there wasn't much you could do, was go shopping or see movies in Port Angeles, the place I would end up tonight. We would do fashion shows, in fact I had planned one for our Prom theme. We would do hay rides for Halloween in the woods and people would dress up to scare each other. Things like that.

Then we kind of wandered away from each other. He was looking at knives and weapons, not my favorite things, and I had wandered away to the jewelery section. I picked up a beautiful choker necklace that was made of sea shells and looked very expensive.

"Alice," a voice I did not recognize said.

I gently placed the choker down to stare into the face of the man, well, boy who had said my name. He had russet skin, a very gorgeous color, and deep, dark brown eyes to match it. His raven black hair was long and pulled into a ponytail and he was very tall! Just as tall as Jasper, if not more, and twice as thick. No he wasn't fat, I don't think there was a pound of fat on him, because he was all muscle! The shirt he was wearing, a simple sky blue that made his skin and eyes even more alluring, looked as if it was going to rip to pieces if he so much as moved! Despite this build, he had a childish, angelic face. Maybe it was smile with its two dimples?

"Alice," he said my name again. "Right?"

"Are you . . . Jacob," my memory searched for the face and the name, but I wasn't sure if I was right.

"Hey, you remembered," he laughed.

"Wow, Jacob! It's been so long," I said in amazement. "Since we were what, fourteen?"

"I was thirteen," he corrected.

"Wow! You've grown Jacob," I didn't mask my amazement as I compared him to the blurry memory of his former thirteen year old self.

"Yeah, but you haven't," he teased as he looked down on me, literally.

"Well, it's what makes me so cute," I bounced on my heels with a giggle.

He laughed and I laughed along with him until he asked me, "How have you been? It's been a long time."

"I'm good," I said. "Senior year you know!"

"So a lot of partying," he guessed.

I nodded, although it was a lie. Edward didn't like partying. My mother hated me partying, she was a pro at them however, so therefore I did very little of it, but when I did I went all out. I never did the drunk party thing, those were big now, but it was fun to go and watch the others who were. Ahhhh, memories.

"Is that an engagement ring," he bent over for a better view at my left hand that was far below his eye sight.

I blushed, wanting nothing more than to hide the pain of my existence, but it was too late. He had already seen it and the damage was done. "Yeah . . . "

"Wow, aren't you like eighteen? Don't you think you are too young to be getting married?"

He didn't say it in a judgemental tone, and even if he had I know I shouldn't have cared. In fact he was laughing a little at the sheer thought of it and I am pretty sure he was imagining himself settling down and not referring to me so much, but I still felt embarrassed. "It's a long engagement. No official plans yet."

"Still," he said. "I couldn't imagine myself doing it you know? But who knows. When you know, you know right? Congratulations!"

"Thank you," I said softly and forcefully. "Oh! How's your girlfriend? Bella, right?"

"Bella? My girlfriend," he looked at me as if I was from another planet before throwing his head back and laughing. "That's funny! No she hasn't been my girlfriend since middle school, Alice, and even then we were only 'together' to make our dads happy. It was their idea really! She's more like a sister to me!"

"Oh, I didn't know that," I said surprised. "You two were so cute together."

I was surprised by his remark they were only ever together to please their parents. I mean, that was what I was doing after all! Well mostly, and I was telling the truth, they were cute. I didn't really know Bella, she was a shy girl, but she was always nice whenever I did talk to her. I liked her.

"Well you know she will be coming up here in the summer," he said. "She wants to spend some time with her father before she goes away for college."

"Really," I said, not sure what else I could say. "It will be nice to see her. Oh, you know what! Give her my number! Tell her to get with me and I'll show her all the new stuff here."

"What new stuff," he scoffed.

As I pulled out a paper and a pen from my purse, Jasper came over to join us. He said nothing as I handed the number to Jacob, "And go ahead and give it to her before you forget!"

"Right," he said. "What about the choker? Did you want that?"

I picked it up one more time, admiring it. "I like it . . . I really really like it, but not today."

"Next time then," he said, holding his hand out for the money for what I did have.

"Next time. It was nice to see you again Jacob," I said as I waived goodbye.

Jasper followed me out as we said goodbye to the owner of the store, who I recognized, now, as Jacob's father.

"So I guess you do know everyone huh? Even the ones on the reservation," Jasper said.

"Yeah," I said. "It has been a long time since I've seen Jacob."

As he followed me down the road, past our cars, my phone buzzed and I opened to read, _I now have your number! Muah, ha ha ha! -Jacob_

I giggled as I wrote back, **_I am not afraid to file for harassment if need be!_**

To this he replied, _Hey, I'm just sending some loving!_

**_Well, if you want, me and a bunch of my friends are going up to Port Angeles. We're meeting at seven to eat and later go to a movie! You should bring some friends._**

_That sounds fun! Yeah! I'm game! Text you later!_

**_Ok, we are meeting at the mexican restaurant! See you then!_**

I put my phone back and Jasper having been quiet the whole time asked, "Was he an old boyfriend of yours?"

I heard a strain in his voice as he tried to keep it light. I know that if Edward had asked me anything remotely like that, even without that strain, I would have blown up. I was a ticking time bomb with him, but with Jasper, it made my heart flutter. He didn't want to seem jealous, and I'm sure he didn't want to be that either, but I knew he was. I mean, he had told me he liked me after all! I was flattered.

"No, he dated a friend of mine from church, Bella," I asked. "She doesn't live here anymore though."

"Was she a good friend of yours," he said, this time, lightly in an attempt to make conversation.

"Kinda," I said. "I only ever saw her at church because she was only here in the summers. Her dad is the Sheriff here, but her mom travels, or something. She was kind of shy, but she was cool. I gave him my number to give to her so we could catch up."

"So where do you go to church," he asked.

I told him where, and he asked, "Does your . . . fiance go there too?"

"No. Him and his family have never gone there. They are a different denomination," I said.

Then we went into a brief conversation about our beliefs and different religious. We were both basically the same. Not really set to one church, or strict codes of beliefs, but we both agreed it was important and we both believed.

"A beach," he said as we arrived to the walking trail that twisted down to the beach.

"Yeah," I said.

"It's pretty," he noted.

As I admired the scenery I noticed that he was pulling out a camera. It looked complicated and sophisticated as he began to snap away.

"Smile," he said turning to me and snapping a picture.

"I have to approve all pictures of me," I laughed, covering my face as he tried to take more.

"Are you hungry? I bought some food from the store," he said hiding the camera away.

"Yeah," I said. "We can have a little picnic."

We made our way to a group of rocks and found a flat one to make our seat. He pulled out a small assortment of food stating, "I wasn't sure what you liked so I grabbed a few things."

I picked a bag of chips and a chicken sandwich. "I didn't even notice they had food there."

"You were too busy fussing over jewelery," he laughed.

"True. You know me so well," I said as I began to eat.

"So what do your parents do," he asked while we sat on the rock.

We talked for a while about family. I found out his were spread out all over the country.

"I swear we were all nomads in a past life," he joked about it.

His family owned two large ranches in Texas, both of which his older brothers had taken over once his dad had had a stroke, but his dad was still always sticking his nose in the business. He had a younger sister, about my age, who was off in college. She was an art major, and was a great painter. His mom was the same as her daughter and spent most of her free time, because she didn't work unless it was on the ranch, learning new languages for future trips and making paintings, which she sold. Their life sounded fantastic.

"Was your dad mad that you didn't stay home to take over the family business," I asked.

"Not really," he said. "My older brothers were always into the whole ranch thing, and they have even expanded it some, but I never wanted it to be my life. I wanted to do something in engineering, and I wanted to travel, so the army was a good choice. My dad said I was charismatic enough that I would be able to convince them to make me the head honcho, so he was excited to have a son in the army. He just wants me to be happy. He doesn't really care what I do, as long as I am happy."

"That's sweet," I said. "My mom is forcing me to become a nurse."

"So that's why you're doing it," he said. "You shouldn't let other people decide for you."

"Yeah," I sighed. "Rosalie told me the same thing."

"Is she that tall, blond girl I always see you with," he asked.

I realized they hadn't met officially, "Yeah. She's been my best friend since we were in diapers!"

He laughed and we branched off into another conversation about his childhood best friend who had died in a car wreck and that took us to another conversation about life.

We spent the entire day either on that rock talking, or walking up and down the beach talking. I felt like I was in another world. A world where I was free to be happy and be the person I really was, and not the person everyone else wanted me to be. It was bliss and I had Jasper by my side. I could talk about anything, and I wasn't afraid that it wouldn't please him, or it would make him upset, or he would judge me. He listened and he encouraged me, especially when I divulged further on my dream to become a fashion designer.

Then the real world returned with Rosalie's phone call. "Hey, it's almost five. Are you taking me?"

"Yeah, I'm coming," I said, "give me twenty minutes."

"Ok."

"You have to go," he said, sounding sad.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I really wish I could stay and talk with you some more, but it's getting dark and everyone is going to start looking for me soon."

"Let me walk you to your car," he said, holding out his arm.

I wrapped my arm through his, kinda hard to do with the height difference, but I would never complained. We walked back the entire way like that, and I have to admit, we were both walking extra slow.

"I had a lot of fun today," I said. "It's nice to just talk to you."

"I enjoyed it too," he said in his deep voice.

"How much longer will you be here," I asked with a slight fear behind those words.

How much longer would my dream world last? "Until July."

I said nothing else as we, sadly, finished our walk to my car. "You'll follow me out?"

He nodded and an awkward silence fell between us for the first time so far that day. I wasn't sure what I could say to end the day with, but I knew I didn't want to. All I could keep thinking was, God does the day have to end?

"You know, I'll miss you," he said, looking to the ground bashfully, "when I leave here."

"You will," I said feeling terribly guilty and happy all at the same time.

He looked me in the eye with those bright blue eyes of his. "Yeah, I will. You know, you don't seem like you belong here."

"What do you mean," I giggled.

"Well," he said. "I don't know if I can explain it. It just seems like you should be in a big city."

I couldn't help but laugh at his sincerity, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Most days I feel the same!"

"Well text me when you can. I don't want to get you in trouble with your . . . fiance," he tried to say the word lightly, but I could still hear the strain.

"I will text you," I said, opening my arms.

"I'll be waiting," he said mocking my movements.

We hugged, and I didn't want to let go! I wanted to stay trapped in his strong embrace for ever and a day! But . . . I had to let go, and I gave him a small smile as I climbed into my car. I refused to say goodbye.

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**ZM Hello :) Sorry, this would have been out much sooner, if I hadn't have lost the chapter :( Oh, well. School is back in session, and I am under the strain to make good grades how much of a strain? Well there's only 50 slots for nursing school, and there's about 200 people applying so yeah . . . Personal note, I am a nursing major, but it is what I want to do unlike Alice lol.**

**Anywhooo thanks to everyone who has read, favorited, and reviewed! And for all reviewers, a preview of the next chapter! **

**Also I had to make some changes to the time line and just want everyone to be clear. Rose met Emmett around the end of freshmen year. **

**__**


	10. A Night with Friends

**Saturday Night**

"Wow, Alice driving her own car! I think I need to take a picture," Rosalie giggled as she sat in the passenger seat.

"Ha. Ha," I rolled my eyes as I put the car into drive and we started our short drive to Port Angeles.

It was silent for a few moments as we made our way out of the town and then out of no where, "Oh my God! Alice!"

"What! What's wrong," I shouted in panic, turning to look out her window for a car, fearful I was about to get hit by one I had not seen.

"Your hair Alice! It's short!"

I just looked at her for a moment in bewilderment, before I threw my head back an laughed.

"I can't believe your mom let you cut it," she said marvelling at the shortness. "Its adorable!"  
"Mom hasn't seen it yet," I told her, watching the admiration for my new hair due, change to amazement in her face.

"Your mother is gonna kill you," she giggled hysterically.

I knew it was true. My mother was gonna kill me when she saw this. Luckily I would be able to postpone it because tomorrow I would be with Edward's mother. Confirmation via text message today.

"Well," she drew out the word after a few moments of silence, and I knew what she was fishing for.

"Yes," I was dreading reliving the 'breakup' by having to tell her the story.

"What happened- with Edward!"

I went into the story, all the details, and was in tears by the end of it. "Rosalie! It's impossible! My mom basically called me a slut and I didn't like to see Edward that way!"

Rosalie let out a long, irritated sigh before saying, "You know what Alice, I'm not even going to say anything about this! There's no point in me wasting my breath anymore, because obviously you're not going to listen to anything I say, but when all this blows up, or you wake up one day and just can't take it anymore- you can't say I wasn't a good enough friend to try and help."

She had her arms crossed by the end of her brief rant and was glaring out of her window. My tears were gone by then, but she had definately made the wound deeper. I was desperate to change the subject, "Do you wanna hear about my day with Jasper?"

She hardly moved her head in response, but I went into full details about the day gladly. I told her about how we just talked, that he was respectful, that he didn't try to put moves on me. We just enjoyed each others company. We had parked several minutes before I had finished.

"So he didn't try to kiss you," she interrogated for more information.

"No, just hugs, although he kissed me on the cheek at the coffee shop," I explained.

"Well, it's obvious he likes you," she lazed back in her seat. "He's told you so, but I just wonder how long he will hold out?"

"I know he likes me," as I said this the corners of my lips twitched involuntarily, "but he promised to respect that, and just be my friend."

"That wont last forever Alice," she scoffed at the idea of it. "If he really likes you, he will eventually try to kiss you or ask you to leave Edward and give him a chance."

I sighed, putting in a lot of thought to my response. I had thought about it before, but it always depressed me and I couldn't put it in words until now, now that I had to. "Maybe not. I mean, he's done good so far right? What if he never acts on it and it's just some crush and he gets over it and we may become just really great friends, like you and me. Except you know . . . we won't be getting manicures and buying dresses together! Or he goes away in July like he says and meets someone else, and we just keep in touch over the internet- or something."

I looked over to see her mulling over my words, "It is possible, but will you get over him if that happens?"

I shrugged, not wanting to think about it anymore. "I'll be married to Edward and maybe with age and maturity I'll fall more in love with him. I think the problem with us is that I'm eighteen and he's thirty. You know, ready to settle down and marry and have kids, and I'm just not. So I am scared and looking for a reason to break it up."

"You know," Rosalie said pulling the handle on her door and pulling out her umbrella. "I think that is exactly the problem!"

I got out of the car as well, pulling out the second umbrella I had. There was one in my purse, at home, one in my car, and one in my locker. It was always raining in Forks, so I had to be prepared. I even had a few pair of rainboots. Today i was wearing black ones with colorful pok-a-dots and thick legging and blue jean capris. I also had on a lavender see through, long sleeve shirt with flower designes and a black shirt over the should not be exposed areas, and a thick coat and long jewelery. I looked cute!

"So what are you going to do," she continued as we walked through the night to our meeting spot, "if he does try to kiss you."

"I don't know, but I won't lie, I wouldn't mind if he did," I giggled as I pulled out my vibrating cell phone. "Hello?"

"Hey we are here," Jacob's voice said on the other end.

"Ok, we are almost there. See you in a minute," I said.

"Ok, bye!"

"Was that Edward," Rosalie asked. "Oh, did he try and text you while you were with Jasper?"

"No, actually," I said, turning a corner and I could see the restaurant only a few moments away. "I think he's trying to give me 'space' since the whole . . . incident. That was my friend Jacob, from church, you remember him."

"Vaguly," she shrugged, and that was her code for no.

"He used to go out with Bella Swan," I reminded her.

"I don't remember her either," she said with little interest.

"Its cause she didn't talk much."

"Alice," I heard my name being called. "Rosalie!"

We turned to see Edward hastily walking towards us, umbrella up and Elizabeth and Mike Newton following behind. He came directly up to me and wrapped his arms around me and planted a kiss on my cheek and I felt a strong desire to escape. I kept my smile on, however, and said, "Hey guys, I hope you don't mind but I invited an old friend of mine."

"The more the merrier," Elizabeth said.

I turned to look up and see Edward peering at me through the dark.

"Edward what's wrong," I asked as he stepped away, but Elizabeth answered before he could.

"O! M! G! Alice you cut your hair," she said walking over and flipping it about. "It's adorable! Don't you think so Edward!"

He said nothing because she didn't give him a chance too. "It's adorable! I love it!"

I laughed and we made our way towards the restaurant where there were several small groups of people waiting. Angela spotted us on the way up and we were joined by her, Eric, Taylor, and Ben. Taylor and Ben were once more regulars in our group, but recently they had started drifting in and out of our circle. I had a suspicion it was mostly because of Angela. She was a quiet and shy girl who didn't initiate a lot of conversation, but she was close with Eric who I believed had a crush on her. I knew Ben had a crush on her, but he probably thought she had a crush on Eric since they spent a lot of their time together. They were both on the yearbook committee so they kind of had too. I made a mental note to work on that.

"Everyone look! Alice has short hair," Elizabeth made the announcment as if it were the single most amazing thing in the history of forever!

"Oh it's so cute," Jennifer and Angela both agreed as I put my umbrella away.

"It makes you look older," Eric said.

"Sexier," Mike joked.

"Shut up Mike," I rolled my eyes.

As we enetered the inside looby where people were congregating to escape the rain, I spotted Jacob with ease. He was the tallest, and the widest there. "Jacob!"

He turned, having issues spotting my shortness in the crowd, but once he did he waived leading his pack over. He had three boys following him and one girl. I easily recognized her as the girl I had seen looking through the window earlier when I had been with Jasper. Oh no! I started to panic as I realized I hadn't mentioned to Jacob not to say anythign about me being in his store with another guy!

I gave him a small hello hug as we all cluttered around the enterance with a silent prayer he wouldn't mention Jasper. "Jacob let me introduce to everyone. This is Mike, Rosalie, Jennifer, Elizabeth, Taylor, Ben, Angela, Eric, and my fiance Edward."

He gave me a confused glance, obviously hearing the tone drop with the title fiance, but shook Edward's hand anyway. "Guys this is my friend Jacob."

"I remember you from church," Ben said as he shook his hands. "You came with Bella a few times, didn't you?"

"Yeah that was me," he said. "These are my friends. Quil, Embry, Seth, and his sister Leah."

They all looked about the same age, minus Seth who was obviously the shorter and younger. His sister was probably about the same age as the rest, seventeen or sixteen. They all had the same beautiful tan skin, and big brown eyes in various shades of dark to light. I felt, upon my first impression of all of them, that they were all very close, except for Leah. She kept to the back and to herself and had a look about her that said she didn't want to be there, and wasn't wanted either.

"Are you all together," the hostest asked as we entered.

"Yes," Edward said.

"This way."

We all followed her to the back of the restaurant, passing smaller tables. They pushed two tables together for us and we all took our seats. Me between Edward and Rose, and Jacob across the table.

"So are you all from the reservation," Mike asked as we started pushing aside our menus.

We had been coming here so long now, we all already knew the menu by heart. Only Jacob and his friends used the menu.

"Yeah," he said.

"Have you always lived there," Angela asked, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah," he said.

"When he was little," Quil jumped in, "he used to think he couldn't cross the reservation line."

"Really," I asked and started laughing.

"Yeah," Embry chimed in. "He used to walk all the way to the line and just look out there. He was a dork."

"At least I'm not still a dork," Jacob took a jab at him.

After that, there wasn't a silent moment in the meal, even when the food was served. It didn't take long for Jacob and his friends to feel like a part of the gang. Jacob was lively, funny, and friendly in every way. There was an obvious dislike between him and Mike however. For about half an hour they made snide remarks about the other to the other and those around them. We mostly enjoyed laughing at Jacob's backhanded compliments to Mike, who had started the whole thing anyway.

There were only two people who were not in the conversation. Leah, and Edward. Edward would speak when spoken too, but he made no attempt to ever join in on the conversations around him, and at times there were several conversations. I did try to ease him into a conversation. He was, if at the very least, still my friend and I didn't like that sour look, but when his comment came out just as sour I gave up.

"We only have an hour before the movie starts," Angela stated glancing at her watch.

"What are we going to see," Jacob asked.

"We haven't decided yet, but there are two starting at nine," Elizabeth said, giving me an idea.

"Jacob why don't you and your friends decide," I suggested. "Otherwise, we will all just get into a big fight."

"Remember that time Jessica was with us," Taylor spoke up.

"Mike still has the scar on his cheek," Eric teased from beside Mike.

They went into their own side conversations trying to out do the others with a funny fight story, leaving the rest of us to decide on the movie.

"We are deciding between Kick Ass and Date Night," I continued on.

"Kick ass, because it has action and humor," Eric said.

"How many times do I have to tell you," Angela rolled her eyes with a scoff, "Date Night is the same! They are running away from people who are trying to kill them, but it's funny."

"Yeah, plus it has Steve Coral from Fourty Year old Virgin-" Mike said.

"Coral," Taylor leaned back in his chair to laugh. "You mean Carell!"

"That's what I said, clean our your ears," Mike retorted.

"Kick Ass will be gone first," Eric continued trying to state his case.

"Well you should have went and seen it when Cassie invited you," Ben threw in to Eric with a, secret, hope to make Angela jealous.

"That girl's crazy," Eric threw back, leaning across the table to look at him on the other side Angela, strategically placed. "I might not have left the theaters alive!"

"It's true," Angela defended him. "She cut his hair freshman year. She said she wanted a lock for her scrapbook-"

"No she didn't," I couldn't believe it and I couldn't help but laugh at the mental image that brought up.

"Yeah, in the middle of art class," Eric was red in the face.

"Was that when you two were 'dating',"Rosalie put up fake quotation marks around the words.

"No," Eric almost came out of his seat. "That was when Mike asked her out on a date for me-"

"I knew it would be hilarious," Mike cackled.

"I broke it off and told her Mike did it as a joke," Eric said.

"She had a voodoo doll, remember that," Taylor punched Mike.

"Hmmm a Mike voodoo doll," Rosalie pretended to imagine such a thing, as we laughed.

"We know what movie," Jacob announced.

"Guys this is the final word," Rosalie announced.

"Date Night," Jacob said.

There were cheers from everyone, minus Taylor, Eric, Mike, and Edward (who remained silent).

"What," Mike said in disbelief.

"We've already seen Kick Ass," Jacob shrugged.

"Well then that isn't fair," Mike tried to argue.

"If you are so worried about it I can tell you how it ends," Jacob said. "They all die."

There were giggles as Mike looked at him horrified before deciding he was lieing.

"I know a solution," Jennifer added in. "We can all just go and see the Last Song!"

"With Miley Cyrus," Rosalie and those around her look horrified.

"Kill me now," I rubbed my temples. "Does she sing in that movie? If she doesn't, it might stand a chance!"

"Don't hate on my woman," Taylor laughed. "She's hot!"

A mix conversation of hate and love for Miley Cyrus erupted between everyone around the table. In that moment Edward turned to me and said, "Alice can I speak with you for a moment."

I suddenly started to get an uneasy turning in my stomach. "Ok."

"Alone," he said.

I turned to everyone and said, "We will be right back. Hurry up so we can leave!"

As I pulled my chair up there were simultaneous whistles and "ewwwwww's" as they all assumed we were going off to, as Mike elegantly put it, ". . .to make a baby!" I said nothing as I rolled my eyes and followed him outside.

The walk out of the restaurant was the hardest thing ever. I kept thinking in the back of my head that he knew! Somehow, he had found out! Oh, hat was I going to do! What was I going to say.

"Who is Jacob," he said softly once he believed we were out of ear short of the rest.

I let out a sigh of relief as I realized this had nothing to do with Jasper.

"Did you hear me Alice," he asked sharply when I didn't answer right away.

Relief, gone. Annoyance settled in as he glowered down upon me and I was began to prepare myself for and the battle I knew was coming. It was wrong, and childish, but I wasn't dreading the fight. In fact, I welcomed it! I wanted him to get angry, I wanted him to realize this wasn't going to work, and a fight seemed like the best was to do that! I was ready to fan the flames in anyway I could. "My friend."

"Really," he scoffed. "I've never heard of you speak about him before."

"That's because you get jealous whenever I talk about any guy," I lied. I knew it wasn't true, but like I said I was ready for battle and prepared to fan the flames. Yeah, childish, I know.

"Alice you know that isn't true," he called my bluff. "And if he is your friend when is that last time you've seen him?"

"At youth night at church," I said honestly.

"Alice you haven't went to your church's youth night since we started dating," he said with a laugh of irony. "How is he your friend if you haven't seen him in years!"

"Well I ran into him today and invited him! What, I can't invite friends," I crossed my arms and jutted out my hip. It was on!

"He's not your friend! If anything you have a crush on him," it was his turn to make flames.

"That's so bull!"

"I saw the way you were looking at him," he fanned the flames higher and I was passing annoyed to just plain pissed off!

"With my eyes," I shouted. "Tell me what I should do! Just sit with my eyes close Edward?"

"Where did you run into him at," he changed the subject briefly, hoping to throw me off.

"At the reservation's store."

"What were you doing there?"

"I was shopping," I felt a little jittery on the subject because I was there to spend some time with Jasper. "What? Is there a list of places I can and cannot go?"

"You never go there! You went there to see him. I'm not stupid Alice," he shouted.

I rolled my eyes, not even angry anymore. This fight was just stupid.

"I know you have been seeing him longer than 'today'," he threw his hands in the air. "That's why you wanted to break it off! To be with him!"

"Edward you are being stupid," I rolled my eyes with a scoff. "If you don't trust me why are you even with me!"

"Because I'm stupid apparently," he said. "And what is this mess with your hair?"

"What you don't like it," I challenged him.

"It's not that! Why didn't you tell me you were getting it done?"

"I've been telling you for years that I wanted it short," I said and the anger was slowly rolling back in.

"Yeah and I've been telling you for a long time how I felt about it. Did you not think about me when you did it," he asked.

"You know what," I said stepping forward and gettting in his face. I wanted to see the anger in his eyes as I told him what I was going to tell him. I wanted to be sure he got the point! "I didn't. You know why? Cause it's MY HAIR! I can do whatever I want to do with it! If I want to put it in a pony tail, I will! If I want to die it blond, I will! If I want to cut it all off, I will! And you can't say a damn thing about it because it's my hair!"

He backed off, the anger evident in his handsome features. He pulled out his wallet, breathing hard and pulled out some money. "Here! Have a great time!"

He shoved the money in my hands that were shaking with adrenaline and anger. I watched, breathing hard myself, as he walked away into the night.

"Alice," Rosalie said feebley.

I turned to see her sticking her head out the door and further behind her, our group was fighting over counter space to pay their tickets. I walked in silently to join them and pay for our tickets.

"Hey where did your man go," Jacob said playfully.  
"He had to leave," I said, too big of a coward to say we fought and have to hear the, are you ok's and the why's. "There was a problem at home, but he is ok."

I saw the concerned looks on everyone's face, but no one protested and we paid and we were on the way. During the short walk to the theater we accidently broke into groups. Angela and Eric were in the lead chatting about yearbook stuff, with Taylor and Mike behind bad mouthing a fellow, absent, classmate of ours. Ben was with them, but silently focused on the two bodies ahead of him. The rest were knotted behind and I could feel the chemistry between Jennifer and Quil, and Elizabeth and Embry.

In the back of the knot was Seth, a silent Leah, and Jacob then me. Seth seemed to admire Jacob, like an older brother and Jacob was giving him some advice on something. I didn't say anything to anyone, because I didn't want to intrude on their intense conversations. Once they finished though Seth joined his sister and me and Jacob were left mostly to ourselves.

"So is Leah shy," I had to ask. "She doesn't talk much."

Jacob scoffed, "No. She just doesn't want to be here. Her mom thinks Seth is too young to be going all the way to Port Angeles with us so she made her come. I don't think she likes any of us."

"Can't blame her," I laughed.

"Me either," he joked.

"So what really happened," Jacob said as I began to lag further behind.

"What do you mean," I asked.

"With Edward? There wasn't really an accident was there," he asked.

"No," I sighed. "He's just stupid."

"Well I don't want to pry," he said, "but I can see a big difference."

I glanced up to see him watching ahead where Leah was walking. "What do you mean?"

"I can see a big difference in your face from earlier today than tonight," he said. "You were much happier this morning."

* * *

**ZM** Sorry that a few of you didn't get your preview, but there was an issue with me sending PM, its fixed now, but the chapter was ready, so i thought I would go ahead and post! Thanks to the Daylighter for betaing!


	11. Drunk!

**Sunday**

"That was a good movie," I said as we left the theater.

Mike and Taylor were already doing impressions from the movie, and I could tell they had enjoyed it as well. Even Leah was laughing with Seth about the movie. I looked down at my cell phone to see it was a little after twelve, and that I had two missed phone calls and three text messages.

"Rosalie, look," I said once I had opened my message inbox and saw the messages were all from Edward and not to mention the phone calls.

She knew of our fight already, I had filled her in during the previews. Jacob had sat next to me, so I was sure he had overheard it. She leaned over to read as I scrolled through the messages that went like this.

_Alice can you call me?  
Why do you want to do me this way?  
I can't believe you are sitting next to him! If you didn't like him you wouldn't be sitting next to him!  
_  
"How does he know you were sitting next to Jacob," she whispered in my ear as she read the last one.

"He must have wrote someone and asked them," I said.

"I bet it was Tyler," she said, sending him an evil glare.

"I don't even care," I said with a sigh, putting the cell phone away.

I had opened it hoping for a text message from Jasper, but I was out of luck. It disappointed me that I had not received a single message from him. Maybe he had forgotten about me, or maybe he just wasn't worried about me! My emotions were like a roller coaster because after that I instantly felt foolish and stupid for thinking of such things. He told me he wasn't going to text me and start problems with Edward, Lord knows I didn't need the help in that area.

Then I started wishing Edward could see what I saw. We weren't right for each other. I didn't love him like he loved me and it wasn't fair, but he wouldn't let me leave him. That made me feel vindicated. He had to know, that's why he was so quick to jump to false conclusions about me and Jacob. I had tried to break it off with him, but he wouldn't let me, so this was his own fault . . . but then again, I could just runaway.

"Alright well, we are out of here," Mike said, referring to himself, Taylor, and Ben.

"Where did you park," Jennifer asked him, Quil by her side, like in the theater.

"Right here behind the theater," he said as if it were a stupid question.

"Well we parked over behind the restaurant," Jennifer said referring to herself and Elizabeth. "We need to start walking."

"We can't let you go alone," Embry said with a nudge to Quil. "We will walk you to your cars."

"Really," Elizabeth said with wide eyes.

"Yeah," he said, and I giggled at the flirting before me. "Jacob, we will meet you at the car."

"Ok," he said.

"We parked behind the restaurant too," Angela giggled after they had gotten some distance away. "I figured they wanted some time alone."

"And I thought Alice was bad," Rosalie rolled her eyes.

Angela just giggled as Eric said, "Well we are off too! See you guys Monday."

"Bye," I said as they walked away too, leaving only Rosalie, Leah, Seth, Jacob and me.

"Where did you park," Jacob asked.

"Just down this road here," I answered pointing in the opposite direction from the way Angela had just went. "It's not far, it's like the in between point."

"What about you Rosalie," he asked.

"I came this one," she said with a gesture in my direction.

"Well we will walk you there," he said starting off in the direction I pointed too.

The road was just short walk with lots of stores, most of which were closed now except two bars and a night club, which was more a bar than a club. The road ended in an intersection. We would take the right at the end, head a little way straight and arrive at the parking lot where we had parked. Further ahead was the curved road that lead to the restaurant. We walked this way because it was usually full of people coming from the movies and going to get drinks. This meant we were less likely to get kidnapped with Rosalie's sexiness walking around at night!

"Rosalie," I said with that thought still in my head. "When I become a popular fashion designer. I want you to model my clothes."

"Oooook," she laughed at the randomness of the statement as we all walked under the lights.

"So Leah," I said turning to her and trying to open her to our conversation now that she seemed a little more open after the movie. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A nagging wife," Jacob said from in front of us, like some body guard.

"Shut up," she pushed him from behind.

"See how natural it comes," he retorted, dodging another one of her jabs.

I could see the laughter in her eyes, and the pink in her cheeks under the store's lights, but she tried to keep a composed, annoyed look. Jacob was breaking through.

"I want to be a nurse," she said, and I had to bite my tongue from laughing at the irony. "I start college next year."

"Hey! Hey! Hey Alice! Is that you," a slurred voice shouted from amongst the crowd's voices as we passed one of the brightly lit bars.

I turned by reflex towards the source of my name, and I was overwhelmed with a sickness.

"Alice, just keep walking," Rosalie said, pushing me forward and angling me behind Jacob's thick frame.

I did as she said, trying to ignore the slumping body in the bar's doorway.

"Alice don't ignore me," he said stepping onto the sidewalk and thrusting himself into our group.

I felt him grab my wrist from behind, his drunken weight pulling around towards him and falling to the ground. My knees burned with the sudden collision with concrete.

"Hey," I heard Jacob shout.

The pressure on my wrist subsided and I looked up to see Seth standing up and Jacob towering over James.

"Man, what did you do that for," James slurred, trying to pick himself up, but having a very hard time. "I just wanted to talk to Alice."

"Well I have nothing to say to you," I shouted from between Leah and Rosalie.

"Babe! . . . We don't-gotta-talk . . .that's-not-wat I wanna-do-toya," his words slurred together so violently it was hard to make them out at first.

"Leave her alone," Jacob said getting into his face.

Although it was clear James was older, it was clear Jacob was much bigger, and intimidating. I was scared for James, almost. Jacob looked as if he could easily drive him through the pavement below us, and I almost wished he would. Despite this, James still jabbed at the wide chest in front of him as he spoke, "Or you'll-do-wat?"

"Jacob, that's enough," Leah said stepping in.

"Hey cutie," James noticed her and I could see the anger swelling in Jacob's face. "I've alwayz-wanted tuh-be wit-a mexican. Muy calihente!"

"Alright," Jacob said pushing Leah gently behind him. "That's it!"

"Jacob no," Rosalie, Leah, and I all shouted in a chorus, as Seth egged it on, "Get him Jacob!"

"Hey! Hey," another man's voice shouted.

It was an older man who stepped in between James and Jacob this time. "That's enough! He's drunk! You kids get out of here before you get in a lot of trouble."

"Yeah Jacob," Leah said, her face pale as she pulled on his arm, "Let's get out of here please!"

"Come on," I said, trying to move Seth with us as well.

"Fine," he seethed.

"Alice," James shouted over the older man's shoulder. "I aint runnin' this-time- ya'hear! This time yull'b mine!"

I got an eerie feeling of panic as we rushed awar from the bar and the old man who shouted at James, "This time you did it boy! That's enough you hear? Leave that little girl alone!"

"I'm sorry about that," I said as we reached my car and Jacob, for the most part, was calmer.

"Who was that creep," Jacob said.

"A crazy stalker she had freshmen year," Rosalie was livid and shouting. "He actually hit her! And one time, he came to my house trying to find her! He's bad news!"

"Alice you better tell someone about that," Leah said with worry in her voice. "He was scary!"

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm sorry though. I didn't know he would be here."

"It's ok," Jacob said with a long sigh.

"It's a good thing we walked with you," Seth said.

"Yeah, thanks guys," I said. "My car's not really big, but if we squeeze in, I could give you a ride."

"Yeah, that might be a good idea," Leah laughed. "Otherwise this big idiot might try to go back!"

"It's true," he said with a shrug, "minus the idiot part!"

We climbed in into my little car, the three of them squeezing in the back with Leah in the middle. It was only two minutes so they didn't suffer too long. I said goodbye to them, and a few more thank you's, and me and Rosalie were headed back home. As we drove I dialed my mother's number and her sleepy voice answered, "Hello?"

"Hey mom, is it ok if I go to Rosalie's," I asked. "It will be quicker to get to Edward's house in the morning. We have to leave early you know."

"That's fine," she yawned back in response, probably not really hearing what I said, because it was a lie. We weren't leaving until noon.

I saw Rosalie give me a sideways glance, but she didn't protest. Her mom said I was welcome anytime, so we never asked her if I could, or could not come. The rest of the drive was spent commenting on the movie and James's insanity. When we arrived to the driveway, another car pulled in along side ours.

"Hello," we called merrily to her mother.

"Hey girls," she sounded extra excited to see us. "I didn't know you would be spending the night, Alice! Good to see you!"

"Are you just getting off work," I asked as she put the key into the door

"Yes, and I don't go back in until Monday. Hey, since you girls are here, why don't we cook some pizza, eat some ice cream, and watch some movies.

"I'm game," I said, excited about the idea of a girl's night in, well morning in.

She sat down her bag, turning on the light and turned to look at me. "Oh Alice! Your hair is so cute!"

"Thank you," I said running my hands though it.

"I can't believe your mother let you cut it," she said, examining it closer.

"Well she doesn't know," I said.

I could see the look of understanding that crossed her face, but she held her tongue. "Well she will love it."

Rosalie's mother was cool. I loved her tons! She wasn't as strict as mother, or as pushy. Maybe it was because she was much younger, having had Rosalie at seventeen.

"So tell me about the movie," she said as she pulled out two pizzas from the freezer.

We told her about the movie, our favorite parts and how Jacob threw an empty bucket of popcorn at Mike when he wasn't looking. While we talked in the kitchen, there was a nagging, pulling in pocket. It was my cell phone. I wanted to text Jasper so bad, but it was almost three in the morning! I didn't want to bother him, but I wanted to know if he was thinking about me like I was thinking about him! But! I didn't want to open my cell phone and see the messages that Edward had sent me. I knew I would feel guilty about the fight that he did start, but I made worse. I could have handled it better, and told him there was no reason to be jealous, he never used to get like this, but I had only tried to make the fight worse, and succeeded. Either way, I didn't feel guilty about the whole hair issue! It was my hair! Why couldn't I cut it short if I wanted to without worrying about who would get upset with me?

With that in mind, I opened my cell phone, ignored the three new text messages from Edward, and put in Jasper's name.

**_Hey! I hope if you are asleep that this doesn't wake you! I just wanted to say hello! and that I was thinking about you._**

I put the phone away and followed them into the living room to pick out a movie, believing it wouldn't be until morning that I got a reply, but in only few moments my cell was vibrating. I pulled it out with a heavily thumping heart, praying it wasn't Edward and opened it to see Jasper's name floating across the screen.

_Actually no I'm up. I was just thinking about you. How was the movie?_

I would have squealed if I didn't want her mother's attention on me. **_It was hilarious! Too bad you couldn't come and see it, and what were you thinking about me?_**

_Well, maybe you will let me take you out to the movies one day soon, just as friends. And I was thinking that you were having a good time, and maybe you had forgotten about me, lol._

It was getting harder and harder to suppress my squeals as I thought about him sitting up thinking about me.

_**Isn't it past your bed time mister?**_

_It is, but we are completing an important mission. Finish this case of beer! Lol._

_**Oh so you are drunk? **_There was a little edge to the message. It hit me he was older than me by a few more years than my mom would like. He could drink. I briefly remember all those horror stories about the girls with the older guys who drink and well . . . you know those stories. What if . . . Jasper was one of those type?

_Ha! No. My friends have drunk most of them. I've only gotten to drink three. I'm not a big beer fan._

**_Poor thing!_**

_Yeah, I know! Lol. So can I ask when I am going to get to see you again?_

**_Soon, I hope._**

_Like tomorrow soon? Or like a few days soon?_

**_Lol, soon!_**

_Well, I can live with that. . . for now. Well I hate to cut our conversation short, but I'm going to go to bed. Text me tomorrow when you get a chance. Or call. I like your voice too._

**_Lol. Ok. Good night, sweet dreams._**

_Sweet dreams._

I put the cell phone away and it was like I entered another world. A world that was not as gleeful and bright, nor as exciting and mysterious. It was a bleak world where I spent time either dreading my next encounter with Edward, or longing for my next encounter with Jasper. Luckily Rosalie and her mother were there to help me get through the night.

* * *

:D I love new chappies! Hope everyone enjoyed the brief James scene :D Lol, maybe something big will happen soon . . . like an actual fist fight . . . or a kiss. Just saying! . . . . ;) Thanks to the Daylighter for Betaing LOVE YA! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed remember you get a preview! ALSO Thanks to everyone who has referred this story or just read it! THANKS


	12. A New Life Taking Over Does This!

**Sunday**

I woke up around eleven with mixed feelings for the day. I was excited to spend time decorating with Esme. She was just the sweetest woman ever. No one in their right mind would mind her for as a mother, but I was worried as well. I knew Edward loved to gossip about all the wrong things I was doing with my mother, but I wasn't sure how far he ventured with his own. There was this one time he complained about something I had worn and she had put him in his place fast! She reminded him what it meant to be a good boyfriend, and not a father. Considering he acted more like a father than a boyfriend, I assumed it was safe to assume he had not complained about me, much, since.

I said goodbye to Rosalie, who was awake, youthful stamina, and told her to tell her mother goodbye for me too. She suggested that I come back that night if I could, which I would find a way. I jumped into my car, but not before writing a quick message to Jasper.

_**Hey! Just wanted to say GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!**_

In the time it took me to start the car and wait for it to warm up enough for me to pull away from the driveway I had my response.

_Good morning beautiful what are your plans for the day._

_**I will be in Seattle working with Esme. I'm going to give some designer tips and help clean up a house that's for sell.**_

Although I don't suggest anyone ever text and drive, I was guilty and didn't care.

_Who's Esme?_

This was a question I hadn't planned on answering, so therefore I hadn't planned on my answer at all! I didn't want to tell him the truth, that he was my fiancé's mother, because I didn't want to constantly remind him (or myself) that I even had one, but I knew it was wrong to lie. I didn't want to lie to him, and I didn't think I could. It was wrong to start off relationships; even if they were just friendships that way, and that was one thing I wasn't going to be guilty of doing!

_**She is my fiancé's mother.**_

_Oh, well. Have fun._

_**Thanks.**_

I didn't get a response back to this message, and it made me uneasy. It was probably for the better, because I couldn't have someone suspicious of me, but I was worried I had offended him. In the end I had to delete the messages, let out a sigh, and just let it go as I got out of the car. As I walked up to the front door, Esme came out with Edward following behind her carrying a large box.

"Good morning Alice," Esme called cheerfully to me as I stopped at the stairs. "Wow your hair is so cute! Edward told me you got it cut, but he didn't mention how short! It is adorable on you!"

"Morning," I said. "What's all that?"

"Just some plans for the house," Esme said. "Edward was nice enough to carry them."

"How sweet of him," I said pleasantly, trying to keep up the appearance that all was right with the world, and me and Edward.

"Yes," she smiled coming down the stairs, "Well let's get going."

I followed her to the car, letting myself into the passenger side's front seat as Edward slid the box in. Once it was done and the car was started, Edward remained standing in the back passenger's door, just looking lost. I watched him for a moment through the window until his mother noticed his odd behavior. "Edward are you coming?"

I glanced at her confused. Edward had never gone with her to a house before, let alone with the both of us! It wasn't interesting to him in anyway, and he would much rather prefer to sit and watch sports on a Sunday. So, you can imagine my utter surprise, and disappointment, when he said, "If you don't mind."

"Well come on then," she said. "You're letting in all the cold air."

Edward said nothing as our drive began and I knew Esme could sense something was wrong in our silence. Even before we were a couple it was impossible to get us to shut up, now we hardly spoke at all.

"So not the next week, but the next is prom right," she tried to start a conversation.

"No. We have one more week of school then the next week is spring break, then the next week is prom," I informed her.

"Really, when are you getting your dress," she asked.

"Mom ordered my dress just the other day," I told her. "It should be here during spring break."

"Well I know you two are excited! I just can't wait to see your dress Alice! Do you plan on doing something special to it?"

"I'm sure I will since I haven't even seen it yet," I tried to keep the annoyance out of my voice, but I think she heard it.

My mom had ordered the dress on line without ever even telling me. It was a short dress, that way we wouldn't have to worry about hemming it and it was a deep green. Mom said that was her favorite color on me with my dark hair and bright blue eyes. I admit, it was nice on me, but I would have loved to pick out my own dress.

"Well your mom has good taste," she tried to compensate, "I'm sure you will love it!"

"Yeah."

"What are your plans for Spring Break," she continued trying to force the conversation.

"I'm staying here," I said.

"I thought your parents were going to take you somewhere," she said.

"We decided on a summer trip instead," I said. "Where did you guys decide to go."

"Well we wanted to go to Rome," she said.

"Oh, I love Rome," she had found the conversation topic, "but one week isn't enough for Rome."

"One week isn't enough time for anything to be honest," she said with a sigh. "So we are saving it for another time, and we are going to take a seven day cruise."

Can anyone guess the first thing that popped in my head? Yup! A week without Edward. That was the most liberating feeling! "Wow seven days! When do you leave and where are you going?"

"We leave on Saturday and we are going to Jamaica, Cayman Islands, and Cozumel Mexico," she said with great excitement.

Edward remained silent. In fact the remainder of the drive was spent in silence on his part. Me and Esme dominated the conversation with talk of girly things and the plans for the house we were visiting. Our conversation continued all the way inside the house and through the decorations. The only interruption was the brief introduction to the male occupant of the house, who was out the door after only two minutes, only staying long enough to get my name and the final decision on paint. His name was Rick.

"Edward will you get the box from the car, empty it out and take it to the guest room upstairs," she finally acknowledge his presence once we had set down to paint the guest room with the color I had chose. "Then sweep up all the dust from the wood work in there for me, ok?"

He nodded, refusing to break the vow of silence he must have taken, silently, before getting in the car.

"I really like the color you chose, Alice," she didn't miss a beat as he walked out of the room and we could hear his feet pounding down the stairs. "I was having the worst time deciding between the two."

"I liked both colors," I said pouring the color into the tray. "I just think the gold offsets the deep brown of the dining room table."

"Alice, do you think Edward is acting a little strange," Esme said with some hesitations to her words.

I rolled my paint roller into the tray, hoping that the question was rhetorical. It was a fail and she continued on. "Like him being here today? I feel like he is here to keep an eye on you."

"You mean he's trying to make sure I'm not doing anything I shouldn't be doing," I asked timidly, surprised she was speaking out.

She nodded, not turning to watch me as she began to roll the paint on the wall. "He's been on edge . . . It seems ever since you two got engaged. It got me to thinking about the whole college thing."

I glanced over to watch her pull up her long amber hair back into a pony tail, her face set into a grimace as she tried to run through her words before saying them aloud. "I told Edward not to be so controlling of your future . . .I believe, and I don't mean to be disrespectful to your mother at all, that she is controlling enough in that area, but it's because she wants the best for you."

She began to roll on more paint, "I know you have a great future in decorative design and fashion, and I know you are not in the least bit interested in nursing and medicine. You're like me in that way and I think you should pursue that. Don't let others decide what YOU will be doing for the rest of the life. And as for Edward, forgive him for being so controlling. He just loves you so much, he is afraid of losing you."

By the end of her speech, tears were stinging my eyes. I knew she was right about everything. I knew I shouldn't be letting everyone else decide where I was going, and secretly I had turned in applications to several schools since meeting Jasper, including Rosalie's choice, but I was afraid it might be too late.

I was also crying because I felt guilty. I was cheating on Edward. If I had to lie and sneak around it was cheating, even if I had not kissed anyone. If he found out it would hurt him just the same. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't pretend anymore. I was gonna have to break up with him, his family, and my own. It was scary.

He eventually came back to join us and there wasn't much talking done afterward, not until we left the house. As tense as things had been, they seemed to have toned down upon leaving and getting some food in our stomachs. We talked like the old days when I was just Edward's friend and nothing more. It was serene, and the conversation was forgotten afterwards. It was just nice not to be arguing for a change, but I knew I owed this to his mother's presence nothing more. Soon I would have to do. I would have to leave him, for good.

"Would you like to stay for a late supper Alice," Esme asked as we shut our doors.

"No, it's almost seven," I said. "I have some last minute homework to do. Thank you though."

The truth was, I had no homework and from the way Edward lifted his eyebrow he was thinking the same thing. I just wanted to get out while it was still friendly between me and him.

"Alright," Esme said, "Be safe driving."

"Thank you," I said to her retreating figure as I tried to edge closer and closer to my little car.

We both watched as she shrunk away from our view, and into her house. As she entered, I could immediately feel the air around me begin to constrict and choke me. The closer Edward got to me, the more suffocated I felt, and the guiltier. I was so sick of feeling that way too. I hated it. I hated every moment.

It was like a rollercoaster! How I was feeling strictly depended on who was around. If Edward was around, I felt like I was in a war zone and I was sneaking around trying not to get blown up. If he wasn't around, it was a little easier to breath, to think, but he was almost always there.

"I gotta go," I said, pulling my keys out of my pocket.

"Are you going to see Jacob," he said curtly.

I let out a deep sigh, too exhausted to even argue with him. Instead I turned around, crossing the short distance to my car. As I walked, he followed me, a constant shadow. I began to unlock my car, but his hand collided with the door, making it impossible to open. I looked up to him, glaring.

"Where are you going," he said.

"I'm going home," I said.

"I don't believe you," he said.

"And I don't care."

I pulled on the handle to open the door, but he pushed against the opening door closing it.

"This is false imprisonment," I glared at him.

"We need to talk."

"What Edward?"

"How long have you been cheating on me?"

My body froze, save my heart that continued to pound in my ears. I could hear my own breath to coming out in ragged gasps as Jasper's face came into my mind. I knew I couldn't hesitate so I willed myself to speak, "What are you talking about Edward?"

"You and Jacob."

I let out a sigh of relief and it was like flaming fire. "Look I am only going to say this once! I have not been cheating on you with Jacob, the night at the movies was the first night we hung out, and you were there! Well, until you left! So if you don't believe me, you shouldn't even be with me!"

"That's what you want isn't it," he had to clench his teeth together to keep from shouting. "Just make it easy for you and leave you. If you don't want to be with me, then just say it Alice, and I will let you go!"

"Fine! I don't want to be with you," I shouted the words out; pulling on the door he was still pushing against.

I had said the words; now all I wanted to do was run far, far away before he could convince me to take them back! His weight pressed against the door and I couldn't open it.

"Why Alice," he said his voice cracking and I could the vile rising in my own throat.

I was disgusted with how upset I made him. How close to the edge he came just because of me. I knew he was trying to hold back the tears, but they were there. I hated myself! I was causing him pain and I could take it all away, but I was too selfish. I wanted my own happiness before his own. That's not love.

"Why," I had to take deep breaths to keep myself steady. "Because you are so controlling Edward! I can't even cut my own damn hair without you throwing a fit!"

"You only did it to make me upset," he responded angrily. "You knew how I felt -"

"I don't care how you felt! It was my hair and I wanted it cut," I shouted.

"Are we really going to throw away everything over your hair," he questioned.

"No, it's more than that! I'm leaving Edward! I can't do this anymore," I said finally able open the door and climb in.

I started the car, and reached to open the door, but he was there, only inches away. "I know you still love me Alice. And I love you. Forever and always, remember that."

I didn't say anything as he pulled away, shutting the door gently for me. As he walked off I started the car up, and drove off. I focused on the darken road before me and kept myself from thinking that it was all over, because tomorrow who knew what would happen. I was just happy to be back home, when I had arrived and so close to my bed. I was feeling weak and drained.

I opened the front door and could see the tv lights flashing in the next room.

"Hey baby," my father said.

"Hey dad."

"Hey Alice, you want anything to eat," my mom called from the next room.

"No thanks," I said. "I've already ate, I'm just going to take a shower and go to bed."

"Ok, goodnight," they both called.

I ran upstairs to my room, able to put off my mom seeing my hair for another day. It was always easier to get away with things when they knew I had been with Edward or his family. Not that my dad was ever one to be very worried, but my mother needed to know everything, but that's moms for you right?

I took a long hot shower, unwinding, and collapsed in my bed. I wasn't tired or sleepy, I was just drained and only in a matter of seconds I was sleeping heavily.

I wasn't sure how I awoke, but once I did I noticed my cell phone flashing. Maybe it was its lights that awoke me. I reached over, feeling hazed and groggy, and opened it. I had three text messages. The first two were from Edward. The first one read_ I am sorry, I love you and I know this isn't over._

Delete.

I didn't even bother to read the next one; I just deleted it as well. Now the third message woke me up. _Are you still awake?_

It was from Jasper, sent at ten at night. It was now twelve and the house was silent. I knew my parents were knocked out too. I sat up, hurriedly texting, **_Hey, sorry I was asleep you are not still up are you?_**

Ten minutes later, I was just about to give up hope when I got a response. _Yeah, I'm up. I wanted to talk to you. I guess you can't come out, it's late, but can you call?_

**_No I can't call I don't want to wake people up._**

I sent the message, and within the following seconds a desire to see him, to do something I knew I shouldn't, overwhelmed me. I was filled with a new life. **_But I can come and see you._**

_Really?_

**_Yeah, I can sneak out. My parents are snoring so it won't be hard._**

_Are you sure? I don't want to get you in trouble, but I won't lie. I really want to see you._

**_Yeah, can you come pick me up?_**

_Yeah. Where?_

I sent him directions of where Rosalie always had Emmett pick her up when she was spending the night with me. Sneaking out of my room was an adventure I hadn't experienced in a long time. I climbed out of my window quietly and climbed back down the tree. I felt so full of life as my heart beat in excitement for once. I felt so giddy, so energetic as I pulled my coat close to me and ran down my drive way and further down the street. In fact I had to text Rosalie and say **_I'm sneaking out to see Jasper! AND I BROKE UP WITH EDWARD!_**

I checked five times that I was sending it to the right person before sending it, and once I finally did, my phone started flashing with Jasper's incoming call.

"Jasper?"

"Hey, I think I'm here."

"I see your lights, slow down."

He slowed down, stopping before me and I climbed in ready to scream with my energy and anticipation building up.

* * *

Ekkk, I can barely contain my excitment, gah i can't wait to get the next chapter up! So everyone review quick so I can send previews and post :D AHHH !

Thanks to The Daylighter for the beta and check out my newest and first HARRY POTTER story **The Smile of Sorrow**


	13. A Southern Gentleman's Kiss

**Monday, early morning hours ;) **

"So where should we go," he said as I slammed the door behind me.

"Somewhere warm," I suggested, rubbing my gloved fingers together.

"We can go back to my hotel," he said, and then quickly added, "my friends are there, but they are asleep."

"Sounds fine," I said, as the car began moving again.

During the drive we didn't speak. I couldn't speak for him, but I was basking in the moment and my emotions. I felt a burning fire of excitment, sparked by nervousness for getting caught. In fact when my phone vibrated, I almost threw up with nerves. Luckily it was just a text message from Rosalie.

_Ok, be careful and have FUN!_

This message only reinforced me to stay. It was electric being in the car with him. Even though we didn't speak, our eyes would wander over to the other. He looked handsome, dangerous almost, as the shadows flickered over his strong features. He was like a magnet, and I could feel my hand slowly sliding towards his that set on the gear shift of his sporty car. It never reached before we reached his hotel, but the night was only just beginning.

"This way," he said, opening the door for me.

My heart was thudding with each step as I followed him into the main lobby.

"We can sit and talk here," he said, leading me to another area of the hotel.

It was a large opening where people could sit and eat breakfast. There was no one here to spy on us and we were utterly alone. He picked a secluded spot by the glass windows that displayed the drained pool outside and greenery. The table where we sat was cut off from the rest with a brick divider and plants.

He pulled out my seat and then sat directly beside me. As he slid into his seat, the tension rose and with it, my every pounding heart. I could even hear my breath getting louder, and I hoped he couldn't hear this audible change. His body heat, plus my own excitment, made the room stifiling and I was almost tearing my coat off to cool off some.

Once he was seated, he didn't take his eyes off of me shyly like the last two days we had spent together. He watched me, his blue eyes burning with question as he searched my face for an answer, but I had a question of my own. "Jasper? What happened? Did you get into a fight?"

In the fluorescent lights of the hotel I could see the purple bruise that was fading to black on his cheek bone beneath his left eye. I studied further and could see the scrapes on his knuckles where he had hit someone. I reached out instantly and wrapped my naked fingers against his hand. "Are you ok?"

I looked up to see a genuine, soft, smile softly spread across his face. "I am ok. Thank you."

I smiled back, it was impossible not to do so. All my fears and worries washed away as he smiled back at me. "You're not wearing your ring."

"Huh?"

I looked down to my hands that were still wrapped in his. I had not pulled them back, I had not tried to break the physical contact as I had been trying days before. I let his hands wrap around my hands now. They were warm, and soft. "You are not wearing your engagment ring."

I watched as his hands caressed my own. I knew I should pull away, but I didn't want too. I wasn't going too. I was tired of pretending. I wasn't going to do it anymore. This was _my _life! Not my mother's, not Edward's, my life! "It's over."

Our hands dropped together, landing on my lap, but I didn't pull them away, and he didn't pull his away. His blue eyes were smothering me again as they started searching again. "Are you ok?"

"I feel like I am floating," I said honestly, and we both chuckled together.

"So that's a yes," he said, his thumbs rubbing my skin.

"Yes," I laughed. "I am ok."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking," he said.

"I don't think I can explain," I said. "I've been wanting to end it with Edward for a long time."

We sat in silence, me soaking in every second of his hands touching my own. This was the first time we had properly talked about my relationship with Edward. We had never spoken about such things before, in our short time together. We had spoken of many other things instead.

"It happened today didn't it," he asked timidly, sliding his chair closer to me. "You told me you were with your fiance's mother."

"Yeah, it did, but I don't think he believes it's over," I sighed, looking away from him and away into the distance.

"Do you believe it's over," he said softly with that bass voice.

"I know it's over," I said firmly, looking him in the eyes as I spoke. "It has been over for some time. I was just too afraid to hurt him, to hurt everyone! My entire family love him like a son. They will be devastated . . . but I can't pretend that I love him that way anymore."

Edward's kisses sickened me now. His touch aroused anxiety within me. It was nothing like the feelings Jasper had given life to in the past few days. After feeling that way, I knew I couldn't go back.

"Can I tell you something," he asked.

I nodded, my breath coming out in shaky now with the rush of emotions that had taken over.

"I was jealous when you told me you were with your fiance's mom today, and I knew I had no right to be. You told me in the beginning the truth, but I just thought about you with him, and it hurt," he said, looking into my eyes.

I could only inhale as he spoke. I had wanted to hear those words because they reinforced my beliefe that he felt the same as me. It had only been a few days, but it felt as if I had had these feelings for years towards him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about tonight, and . . ."

"And?"

"About the fight," he said.

I sat back, pulling away briefly from his warm touch, to look at him properly. "I don't understand."

"Tonight me and my roommates went to this bar in Port Angeles for a big basketball game," he explained, still leaning forward in an attempt to be close to me. "It was very crowded because it is the start of the season this week, and I was telling my friends about you."

He was talking about me to his friends! He had been thinking about me, even though we hadn't been texting! I felt a warm gush of gratitude to whatever angel had allowed me to find this out.

"This guy overheard me and said some crude things about you and . . . I lost it," he shuddered as he replayed the memory in his head. " I punched the guy and we got into a fight . . .The guy was really perverted Alice, and I have a bad feeling about him. I wanted to tell you to stay away from him."

I leaned forward then, my stomach churning because I knew who he was speaking of, "Was his name James?"

"I don't know his name," he said, his eyes worried with the intensity of my gaze.

"Did he have long blond hair," I continued questioning.

"In a pony tail," he said.

That was my confirmation and its weight left me drained. "That was James."

"Who is he Alice," he asked. "There is something seriously wrong with that guy."

I shook my head, running my hands through my short hair. "He's just some creep. I dated him for a little while a few years ago, but he got scary obssessive so it was broken off. My dad was going to call the police on him if he didn't leave town, it had gotten so bad, so he left. I guess he's back now. We saw him Saturday night and he was drunk. He almost got into a fight with my friends."

Jasper sighed, unsure of what to say or how to take this information. I didn't like the direction the conversation had taken either, "So did you hit him real good for me?"

He looked at me confused before he chuckled. "Yeah I got him pretty good."

I giggled, "Good he deserved it . . . Thank you Jasper."

He shook his head, "I shouldn't have lost it, but I didn't like the things he was saying."

Somehow my hands had found their way into his hands again and we were both watching them, glancing upward shyly at the other as we spoke.

"So," he started shyly, "does this mean I can take you on a real date."

"I don't know," I teased back, sliding closer to him. "Are you asking me out on one?"

"Yeah, this Friday," he said.

"Hmmm," I pulled back and looked to the ceiling. "I would have to check with my secretary."

"Alice," he laughed, and in a mocking voice said, "You know I'm shy!"

I laughed. "Ok, Friday."

He smiled and we once again were engulged in silence, and I knew why. I wanted to kiss him. I didn't want to speak. I wanted, I needed to kiss him. It would be the proff that these feelings were just figments of my imagination, but that they were real.

"It doesn't seem like I have been talking to you for less than a week," I said with a shy giggle.

"I know," he said, but I was too shy to look into his face.

Another round of shy silence passed around us, and I couldn't stand it anymore. I was tired of not living my life. Softly I said, "Hey Jasper."

I watched as his eyes drifted from my hands and gazed into my own. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as his eyes burned through me. It was like gravity shifted its push and began to push us together, slowly. My heart began to beat harder as we drew closer. My own breath came out ragged as the heat of his own breath gushed against my face, and I was lost in his scent.

He smelt heavenly, warm, and it was intoxicating. I had always heard that if you like the way a man smelled, it meant he had good genes; meaning you two would make good babies. If that was true, we would make damn good babies! I could bury myself in his chest and just breath in it, after I got my first kiss.

Then our lips met. We pressed them against each other softly, but I could feel my own body tensing with a desire to press harder. I could feel my heart racing with ecstacy as he gripped my own hand in an attempt to control himself as well. Our lips pulled apart for only a fraction of a second as we both tried to catch our breath, but neither of us could wait and we were pressing our lips against each other once more.

It was like no kiss I had ever experienced. It was full of forbidden passion as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me deeper into our kiss. It literally took the breath from me, but I would much rather suffocate than end it. It was my first, true kiss.

We finally had to break apart to catch our breaths, but his strong arms refused to let me get to far away. We rested our foreheads against each other as we tried to calm our breathing. They were both ragged and hard, as if we had been running. I locked eyes with him, my own eyes reflecting back in the eclectic blue, and I kissed him again. This time we didn't hold back.

I wrapped my small arms around his lean frame. Pressing him closer to me as we kissed as if it was the last time. He ran his hands through my hair, and it gave rise to chill bumps. It was heavenly, amazing, hot, passionate, all those words and more! Then my phone began to vibrate in my pocket.

In my paranoid state, I pulled away abruptly and pulled the cell phone to see Rosalie's name flashing across the screen. I felt as if my heart would stop with fear, "Rosalie?"

"Are you home yet," she whispered on the other end.

"No, why? What happened," I whispered back, even though I had no reason to keep my voice down.

Now my heart was racing with a new kind of fear. What if my parents had caught me and called her looking for me! They were going to kill me, oh Lord!

"No, I just wanted to check up on you! Call me when you get back!"

"Rosalie, don't scare me like that," my words came out in one long sigh of relief.

"Hey! I owe you! Remember that time you called me when I was out with Emmett!"

"I kept you from getting pregnant, so you better be thankful," I whispered onto the phone, turning away from Jasper to keep him from hearing.

"Well just consider this my thank you," she whispered back. "Call me! Bye!"

"Bye!"

"Is everything ok," Jasper asked.

I had been fearful, before, that once I had kissed him, I wouldn't want him anymore. That I would feel so guilty, he would be a big turn off, but boy was I wrong. His voice was even sexier than before.

"Yeah, it's ok," I said as he reached for my hand. "I should get going home though, it is late."

"You're right," he said standing up and pulling me up with him. "I don't want to get you in trouble."

I nodded, having to fully extend my neck to look at him properly.

"You're so tiny," he chuckled.

"It's one of my many adorable traits," I said, and it was instantly followed by a yawn.

"Let's get you home," he said picking up his keys from off the table as I redid my coat.

He didn't let go of my hand as he began to lead me away from our spot at the table, but then he stopped and abruptly turned around. I looked up in surprise as he placed both his hands on my cheeks and kissed me gently. I felt like I was melting and the kiss was different than before. It was passionate, but more romantic and soft. He was gentle.

"Let's go," he whispered as he pulled away, only enough so our lips weren't touching.

"Uh-huh," my voice came out weak.

He smiled, taking my hand once more and leading me out to his car. We got in and I was afraid it would become awkward, but he cheerfully said, "So what do you want to do Friday night?"

"There's not much to do in Forks," I shrugged. "Plus it's March."

"So that means no fun?"

I giggled, remembering he wasn't from here so he wouldn't quit understand. "No, that means its going to rain for the next few weeks.

"Well then there really won't be any change, will there," he scoffed.

"Not really," I giggled. "Port Angeles?"

"Sounds good to me," he smiled. "Whatever you want to do."

"Just, no fighting ok," I patted his hand on the gear shift.

He laughed, taking my hand with his own. "I hope you don't think I am a jealous type of man."

"No, just one who likes to bar fight," I teased him.

"Wow, that sounds soooo much better," he rolled his eyes. "I really am not the fighting, jealous type. I usually behave pretty well, but . . . if you had heard those things he was saying- my friends don't even know you, but they were ready to pull his head off!"

I shuddered as I imagined what kind of ugly things he must have said in respect to me, but I didn't really want to know. "It's ok, I was only teasing you."

He smiled softly at me. "Are you a jealous girl?"

"I don't believe I am," I shrugged.

"So if a girl was flirting with me you wouldn't get jealous," he tested.

"Well," I said tapping my lips in thought. "If you were my boyfriend and a girl was flirting with you, I would be a little jealous, but I would expect you to handle it and not flirt back. If you did then I would feel disrespected and upset."

"Well you won't have to worry about that Alice," he said, his thumb caressing my hand. "You have had my full attention since that day I saw you sitting on the bleachers."

"Same here," I giggled remembering back to only a few days ago, but honestly it felt like years, I guess because I had come so far. "Stop here."

He pulled to the side of the road, dimming his lights. "I'll text you tomorrow?"

I smiled and nodded, allowing him to come in for one more, well two more, long, gentle kisses. "Goodnight Jasper."

"Goodnight," he said with his southern accent, leaning over and pushing the door open.

My southern gentleman. I made to get out the door, but a slight pressure on my hand made me turn around for one more final kiss. It was hard to get out of his car, but I knew I had too, and I shut the door softly behind me. He waited till I had waived goodbye one more time and dissapeared into my driveway.

The lights were still off in my house, and I was lucky it hadn't started raining or storming and awoken my parents. I climbed up the tree, thankful I had mastered this art at ten, and up into my slightly ajar window, closing it softly behind. I wrote Rosalie first.

_**Just got home. I feel drained from all the excitement and I am going to bed. Text you with all the details tomorrow!**_

I didn't check her response until I was changed in my clothes hidden in the bottom of the laundry basket in my bathroom. She simply said _I am picking you up in the morning! Goodnight!_

I laid into my bed, feeling blissful and at peace. I didn't worry about Edward for once, or his feelings. I didn't worry about anyone else, and all the weight from doing so was gone. I felt free, weightless, like I could fly! If I wasn't happy enough, I received a message from Jasper as well before falling asleep to dreams about him.

_I am back home, and in bed, and I want to make sure that our kiss wasn't a dream._

**_It was anything but a dream!_**

* * *

Ahhhh! Was it as good for you as it was for me? Lol cuz it was awesome :D Oh, and IT IS MY 21st BDay! So happy bday me (this was my present)! R and R PLEASE and let me know what you think and (and) read again, cuz this was just awesome! (Well i believe so!)


	14. My mother

_Last time : _On previous chapters of My Not So Much Love Story : Alice finally broke it off with Edward and this time it seems to be for good. After sneaking out of her house, she met Jasper and they shared their kiss, but now she has to face mother, and her entire school. Good luck.

**Monday**

I dropped my bag by the door as I arrived from school. The song Jasper had played for me on our first, I guess you could call it date, blarring in my ears. I was so intent to memorize every detail about the song, it wasn't until it tapered off into the soft piano solo that I realized there had been another car in the driveway.

I pulled the door open to try and calm the pounding heart in my chest, but I failed. Sitting to one side of the driveway was the shiny Volvo of Edward. I stared at it in shock for a moment, my mouth slightly open. He hadn't been at school today, but everyone seemed to have heard about our breakup. Teachers had pulled me aside to tell me there were plenty of fish in the sea, you know stupid stuff like that. Our friends had asked for every detail of the breakup and how I was feeling. Once they realized I was ok, they started planning the parties we had never had because Edward refused to let me attend such things.

"You are like a bird, Alice," Rosalie said at our lunch table before our friends who nodded in agreement, " and Edward had you caged. He didn't want to let you attend the college you wanted, or do the things that made you happy. He didn't want you to go to parties where other boys might be. He just wanted to keep you in your tiny cage! Birds need to fly!"

After that I learned that all my friends had felt the same. They had agreed that they had felt Edward had been caging me up. In fact, they had not invited me to parties in the last year because they knew Edward would either not let me come, or he would come along and act all sullen and ruin the event. They had never complained, however, because they thought we were in love.

The spare moments I had not been explaining my break up situation to the rest of Forks, I spent texting Jasper. He was what got me through my day. Now my cell was clutched tightly in my hand as I stared at Edward's Volvo. I shut the door again. I had walked into my own horror movie. Mom would be home soon, yet there he was uninvited. What nerve he had coming into my house as if he lived there!

I turned the ipod off to hear the hum of the TV. I took a breath. If he was here to beg me to come back, he would not guilt me into it. I had had a taste of what real love was, and it was not Edward. I could not, would not turn my back on that. Determinedly I stepped into the den where he was watching TV with a blank, unseeing expression.

He turned to me, and I could see his face lighting up just with looking at me. This made me sick with guilt. He stood up, clearly unsure of what he was doing, and opened his mouth.

"Why are you here," I asked much more timid than I had meant.

"Alice, I-"

Before he could answer, the front door swung open and I turned to see my mother walking in. Before I could remember she had yet to see my new hair cut, she had frozen in the doorway, one leg still outside, the other inside, and gaping at me. There was a moment I thought she already knew about our breakup, but before I could tell on myself, she groaned, "Alice! Your hair!"

I didn't say anything as she quickly shut the door and swiftly walked over to me. "What have you done to your hair! When did you?"

"Saturday," I said meekly.

"Oh Alice, why would you do something so stupid," she said furiously. "Your hair was so beautiful! Why would you do something so- I can't- after I told you not to- and still-"

"I think it looks great."

Both me and my mother stared at Edward as if neither of us had known he had been there. She looked at me, then to him, and then as if in furious defeat she abandoned us there in the den. Once I was sure she was in her room, I turned to thank Edward but there was a stony look in his eyes.

"If it is really over, I want you to say so in front of your mother!"

"What?"

He smirked at me, a smug look smoothing his features, but his green eyes were still stony. He felt he had won, and for a moment I thought he had too. Tell my mother! After that with the hair? How would she react to our breakup!

Then I remembered, it didn't matter. What was the worse she could do, yell? I was an adult now. I was eighteen. I had to make my own decision, live my own life! I was past the age where she could keep me from seeing who I wanted. True I lived in her house, but I didn't have to now. I glared at him, defiantly. How dare he come into my house as if he lived there! My mother came out for another round.

"Alice, we need to discuss-"

"Mom, I'm sorry, but it's done. My hair is cut, and I can't change that. I like it this way," I cut her off.

She froze, clearly affronted by my standing up for myself. I was so angry. Edward had no right to be here. It was over between us, and he had no right to be in my house trying to scare me into staying with him. And dammit it was my hair and I had a right to cut it all off if I wanted!

"Alice wants to tell you something," Edward said turning to my mother, his face smug.

My mother, still affronted just stared waiting. Edward held a triumphant look as the minutes ticked away. I glared at him, and from my anger and annoyance at the both of them, I mustered my courage. "I have broken up with Edward. It's over between us."

My announcement was met with silence, and a look of shock of horror from both of their faces. Jasper's face, so bright in my mind, kept me determined and strong. Neither of them could do anything to stop me.

"Why," my mother whispered, then her face became stony. "Who are you seeing?"

I gawked at her, my own mother on his side and accusing me. "Why does it have to be me? Why can't you assume it was Edward who is cheating?"

"I'm not cheating!"

"Shut up," I shouted.

"I'm not stupid," my mother shouted. "You don't go from engaged to broken up in a day."

"Well I didn't," I shouted. "In fact I was planning on breaking up with him the day he proposed, but how could I do that in front of all you?"

"Liar," my mother half shouted. "Tell us the truth!"

"The truth is," I shouted my anger reaching a level I had never felt before, 'I'm not in love with Edward. I'm sorry, but it was only ever a crush, but you made me feel so guilty for trying to break it off with him before that I decided it was easier to just not do it! It's over! I don't want to get married!"

"Don't try and make this my fault," my mother shouted, but I didn't really hear what she said after that.

I began stomping my way up the stairs, my fists clenched and shaking. I could hear them both shouting after me all the way up to my room where I turned my music on to drown them out. I stayed like that for the rest of the night, texting Jasper and Rosalie, and ignoring Edward's messages and phone calls until I fell asleep.

The next morning when I awoke I was eager to get out of the house, but when I went downstairs, I was surprised to see my father waiting for me.

"Baby, can we talk," he said, faking a smile.

"I have to get to school."

"It won't take long. I like your hair, by the way."

He patted the stool on the other side of the counter and I reluctantly sat down. He scooped up one more bite of eggs before looking me in the eye. "Your mother is very upset."

"I know," I began and before he could interrupt me, "but I don't want to be with Edward daddy! I don't love him, and -"

He held up his hand, and it silenced me. Was he really not going to listen to me either?

"I don't want you to be with someone because you don't want to disappoint other people, I want you to be with someone because you love them," to my greatest surprise, those were his words. "I think you are too young to marry anyways."

The rush of relief that was washing of me was too overwhelming to speak. Luckily my father carried on, "Your mother does not think that way, and she has decided to punish you."

"How," I asked.

"By not letting you go on our trip next week, now wait just a minute," he interrupted me when he saw me begin to protest. "I think it is a good idea, and I think you will too. She called last night and spoke to Rosalie's mother, you will be staying there with them. You are not allowed to go out or see people, and since Edward will also be out of town, I think you will be able to enjoy your time alone, and maybe I can convince your mother to give up on you and Edward."

I jumped from my seat and threw my arms around him. "Thank you dad!"

I picked up my bag and rushed out of the house, as I jumped in the car my phone started ringing. "Hello."

"No offence, but your mom is really stupid to think we will not be doing anything for spring break," Rosalie's voice giggled excitedly on the other end. "This Saturday. Clubbing."

I laughed, "Whatever you say."

"See you at school," she laughed before hanging up the phone.

As I ended the call on my end as well, I noticed I had to messages in my inbox. The first was from Jasper wishing me a bright and beautiful morning. The second had arrived sometime last night, and it was from Jacob and it read, "Hey Alice, Bella is coming into town this weekend. Wanna hang out?"

Quickly I responded with a yes and headed out towards school. The sun was shining brightly and it wasn't so cold outside. Yup, today was going to be a good day, and next week was going to be better.

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**Hey! Hope everyone had a happy new year, merry Christmas, and everything :) Sorry for the delay, I was failing math ... and Microbiology so I had to step up my game, and yeah I passed :) **

**Sorry about the short chapter, but it is just a transition. I am excited to be writing again and I can't wait to get the next chapter up, but I have MISSED you guys so much! I wanna hear from you. Let me know what you would like to see! Some Bella? Some Jasper beating on James, or maybe ... Edward! Some clubbing? Lol, just leave it in a review and I promise I won't make you guys wait so long! **


	15. Roses equal sick

**_Tuesday_**

Edward didn't miss school the next day, and I had to admit I felt bad for him. He was getting ugly looks from all my favorite teachers. Then he opened his mouth to speak to me, and suddenly I didn't feel so bad.

"Alice I am never going to give up on you, I love you," he said. "Jacob could never love you like I do."

I raised my eyebrow, unable to believe what I was hearing, but I was determined to handle it better than what I had been. "Edward, please, I don't want to keep fighting with you. I'm sorry, but I don't love you the way I should. We have grown up together, and you know I hate to see you this way, hurt, but ... I just don't love you like you love me. I don't think that is fair to you, or me. I know someone else out there would make you much happier than I ever could."

"I don't think so, and I know you love me too," Edward said. "It's just a phase you are going through-"

I could feel my control on the situation slipping as people pushed through us in the hallways to get to class. "I'm sorry Edward, but this isn't a phase. It's over. I have to get to class."

I pushed past him, not daring to look at that sad, puppy dog face as I left him in the thinning hallway. Lunch was a fiasco. He sat down and it was suddenly boys versus girls. It all started when I made a statement about how a certain girl was a better basketball player, and eager to argue with me Edward said some guy was better. Well the girls jumped in, then the boys, and before the end of lunch the principal had to stop by our table to make sure everything was ok. Not to mention two teachers came by to tell us we were getting too loud.

"Edward was telling everyone today in our class," Rosalie informed me as we walked to the car at the end of the day, "that you guys were just on a break and were working through it. I guess telling him in front of your mother wasn't enough."

"Apparently not," I sighed. "Well I'm going to go meet Jacob. Bella is coming from Phoenix this weekend so he wants me to come by and help him plan a party."

"I would, but I am going to work," she frowned. "I'll call you tonight."

"Ok," I said reaching my car. "Bye."

As I left the parking lot I called Jasper. We hadn't really had a chance to text to each other day between my drama and school.

"Hey beautiful," he answered, slightly out of breath and I could feel my face lighting up.

"Hey wonderful," I giggled. "Busy?"

"I was, but it's you, so I am free," he said, and I could hear the clear voices in the background shouting for him to return. "Shut up guys!"

"I didn't realize I was interrupting, maybe I should let you get back to your girlfriends?"

"No you know how women like to nag," he followed my joke and I could hear them shouting in the background. "We're in the middle of playing a game. . . so when am I going to get to see you again?"

"Well I am on probation," I rolled my eyes. Eighteen and grounded.

"I didn't know I was dating a criminal," his deep laugh warmed my body and I longed to see him again.

"Saturday."

"I can see you on Saturday," there was a pitch of excitement in his voice that made my heart fluttered.

"We are going to a club, you can bring your friends."

"A group date, sounds like fun."

"Jasper come on," someone shouted.

"I'll let you get back to your game. I'll text you with the directions."

"Ok dear," he said and I almost giggled with pleasure from hearing him call me such sweet things. "Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up my phone, and continued my drive to La Push. I was super excited to be going out with girlfriends to a club! I hadn't been to one since Rosalie snuck me into one on my birthday almost two years ago. This would be first time going to one legally! Too bad both Bella and Jacob were too young to go, being they were both a year younger.

I pulled into Jacob's father store and killed the engine. I jumped out of the car and saw eyes poking out of the window.

"Alice," Jacob called running out of his store.

"Hey," I shouted giving him a hug.

"How did you get away if you are on probation?"

"Told my mom I was decorating for the prom."

"I knew it!"

Both Jacob and me wheeled around to see Edward walking around a car he must have been crouched behind. His face was flushed red, and his green eyes blazing. My heart began to flutter with nerves. I had never seen him so angry. In fact, I rarely saw him angry.

"Hey Edward," Jacob said in a strained tone.

"How long have you two been seeing each other behind my back," he shouted, stopping dangerously close.

"What? Are you? Dude what are you talking about," Jacob laughed, clearly remembering the day Jasper and me had walked into his shop and how ironic this must be.

"Edward did you seriously just follow me here," I stepped between the two towering boys.

"Listen ugly," Edward glared over me and pushing me aside to get into his face. "She's mine. Got it?"

"We aren't together jackass," Jacob rose to the challenge.

"Enough, " I shouted placing myself between the two of them again.

Looking up, I was sure neither of them could see me being so short and them glaring at each other. "Edward let's make this clear because apparently I didn't make it clear yesterday. We. Are. Not! Together!"

He backed up a step, and looked at me as if only seeing me for the first time. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, "And did you follow me here?"

"I wanted to see the truth," Edward said returning to glaring at Jacob.

"Are you crazy," Jacob took the words out of my mouth, and I don't know what happened next.

In a matter of seconds they were both in each other's faces. They were both threatening each other and I was too afraid to get close to either of them in case they started to swing, but that didn't stop me from shouting, "Hey! Enough! Stop it you two!"

"What is going on here?"

I turned to see another girl hurrying to us. Her long brown hair was flowing behind her as she quickened her step. Her eyes were wide as she by passed me and pulled at Jacob's arms. "Baby, what's going on?"

Jacob looked taken aback for a moment, but she recovered by turning a hateful glare onto Edward. "What is your problem? Why are you trying to fight with my boyfriend?"

"Your boyfriend," Edward laughed in disbelief. "This is too good. No wonder you didn't have any problem being with Alice who had a boyfriend! You have a girlfriend. How long have you been cheating on her?"

"Bella-" Jacob ignored Edward, "this is the guy I told you about. Alice's crazy ex."

"Oh," she said, glaring at Edward again and I got a feeling she had been watching through the window. "Did you follow her here? Isn't that considered stalking?"

"She's my girlfriend-"

"She's your ex," Bella stated simply. "Now I'm going to have to ask you to leave-"

"Fine, but Alice you are coming with me," he rounded on me, pulling my by my wrist.

I almost toppled over from his strength and my own shock. I had never seen this side of Edward before. He had never tried to physically pull me away before. He was a different person, one I didn't recognize. It was scary.

"No she isn't," Bella was by my side. "I invited her here, and if you don't take your hands off her, I'm calling my dad! He is the Sherriff, maybe you have met him?"

Everyone knew Charlie Swan. He had been the Sheriff for the last eleven years or so and before that a deputy. Edward's grip loosened and he gave one last final glare at Bella and me before turning on his heels. He marched to his car, which was obscured by trees, and we watched him leave in silence. Once he was gone and the shock of what had just happened began to wear off, I turned to Bella.

"You rock."

"Yeah Bells," Jacob joined her and put his arm around her.

"Well you told me there might be trouble," she smiled sheepishly.

"Well I figured once Alice told me she had broken it off with him, I might see him again. Just... not today," he said with a stony glare at the place where Edward had disappeared.

"I am really sorry about that guys," I frowned. "I can't believe he followed me here!"

"That's a little crazy," Bella said.

"I didn't know you were going to be here Bella," I said trying to push the subject of Edward away. "I thought you got here this weekend."

"Well my mom was really eager to follow her husband to Florida, so I decided to come a few days early. I'll be starting school when the papers are done," she shrugged.

"It will make getting to the people here easier," Jacob nodded.

"Well she's a cutie," I said taking in her overall appearance.

She wasn't very fashionable, but I could fix that. She wore straight jeans and a flannel shirt that clung to her curves nicely. She was very pretty with big, brown eyes and her brown hair that caught the light and turned a red. She was very cute with Jacob too. "You two make a cute couple."

"Huh?"

"What," they both looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

"What," I asked.

"Oh, I just said that," Bella laughed, "to shut him up."

"So you two aren't together," I asked.

"No," Bella said, although I noticed Jacob had stopped laughing.

I spent another hour there with the two of them, observing them closely. They did act slightly like a brother and sister. They wrestled a little, teased each other, got into a tiny argument over something pointless, and laughed about it longer than they had argued. Through our little time together, I had came to the conclusion that Jacob was just beginning to realize that maybe his feelings were more than that of the "little sister" he had described the day I had walked into his shop.

As for Bella, and me she had became a new best friend from the moment she had helped put Edward in his place. We got on well, although I realized she was farther from a girly girl than she looked. I told her she was going to go shopping with Rosalie and me on Sunday, when I would be officially off probation because my parents would be gone.

I left early with Bella's new cell number, and I got home earlier than what I had told my mother. I noticed something was off the moment I arrived however. She was waiting for me at the door, and her mouth was spread wide into a smile.

"I want to show you something," she said before dragging me to my room where she threw the door open.

I felt sick. Did Edward have no shame? On my bed, in a big shape of a heart, was a pile of rose petal. On each of my three dressers, and two nights stands a vase of a dozen roses. It seemed both he and my mom were taking a new, gentler approach.

"Do you really want to lose a man like this Alice? He's going to be a doctor; he would take care of you, and love you. Just think about it Alice. You are not going to find another man like him," she said.

Her next tactic was to leave me alone to ponder over her words. Too bad for her, I was too far to look back now. It was over, and this was just sad. In a matter of minutes my phone was ringing and Edward was the name on the screen. Mom must have called him.

I ignored the call, grabbed a wastebasket, and began dumping the petals on my bed into it. I fell onto my bed and I wrote Jasper.

_Would you ever give me roses?_

**_Are you spying on me?_**

_What do you mean? Wait, you are not buying me roses are you?_

**_No my mother taught me right lol. She says every girl gets roses so they aren't special. I was actually just trying to decide what to get you. Any preferences?_**

_No. I will let you surprise me :)_

_

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_Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the chapter and that it wasn't too long of a wait! We got snow! OMG! We never get snow! I'm going to play in it. Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing last chapter, you guys really helped me with the next two chapters!_


	16. Bachata

**Saturday**

"Does this look salsa enough," I asked Bella as Rosalie strolled into the room from her closet.

"This is kind of old," Rosalie was saying as she held up an outfit, "but I think this is the only thing I have that will fit you."

Bella took it with a strained smile. I knew she was thinking that the tiny dress with a ruffle bottom could hardly be passed as clothes; but she said nothing surely intimidated by her new acquaintance. She looked me over and said, "I think so."

I looked myself in the mirror. My short hair was styled with a small hint of glitter. I was really in love with my short hair. Blush, lilac eye shadow with purple wings for a shadowy effect, and no lipstick for easier kissing. Yeah. I looked good in my tight, dark green dress.

"Are you sure they are going to let me in," Bella asked again as she stood up with a blush that she was going to have to change in front of us.

"Yeah, they let any girl in that's eighteen," Rosalie said. "Plus it is a Spanish club, they let any pretty girl in."

"It helps that Rosalie's flavor of the week is the bouncer there too, " I giggled as I ruffled through my suit case.

Bella chose to say nothing as she slipped into her tiny dress. Rosalie was in the corner curling her long blond hair. Her red dress would distract any bouncer from the rest of us, including Jacob who would not be eighteen for several more months. Luckily Bella's birthday was late in the year so even though she was not a senior, she was eighteen.

"Here is some make up Bella," I said thrusting the bag into her hand.

It took her five minutes to get ready, and another twenty for me and Rosalie. As we filed out, Rosalie's mother hugged us all, "Be safe. I know you are adults not, so please act like it! No alcohol!"

We all assured her not to worry, we were there to dance which did not required alcohol. We slid into my car, Rosalie driving as she was the only one who knew where the club was, and we were on our way to get Jacob.

"He's a cutie," Rosalie noted as Jacob approached our car. "Too bad he's not a few inches taller."

"Perfect height for you though Bella, wouldn't you say," I turned with a wink.

She opened her mouth to respond, but Jacob slid into the seat beside her before she got the chance. "Hello beautiful ladies."

"Well hello handsome," I teased as Rosalie put the car into reverse.

"Where's this new man of yours," he asked.

"Jasper. He will meet us there."

"So you going to tell us the story now," Bella asked.

Since I had met Bella she had been over at my house three afternoons after school. She had really helped me through those days. Since our run in with Edward, school had almost become unbearable because of his presence. He was rude and hateful every chance he got. My friends practically squirmed the entire time the two of us were within range of each other. My mother had not relented either. One day she was in guilt trip mode, other threatening bitch mode. Thank goodness Bella was there to keep her from going over board, or me for the matter. She was somewhat shy, but only at first. She had a smart, sarcastic way of talking and I loved it. Since she had been at my house, however, I had not gotten a chance to speak much on the whole Jasper, Edward, and me love triangle. Luckily our drive into the next city gave me enough time to bash Edward, and praise Jasper.

Jasper was already inside the club when we arrived. The line wasn't too long, maybe ten people all bouncing to the thud of the reggaeton music inside. However, the bouncer spotted Rosalie and waived us to the front.

"Save a dance for me mamacita," he winked at her as he let us all pass by.

I felt an overwhelming rush of adrenaline and excitement overcome me as we stepped into the dark club. We pushed through a crowded hallway as Pitbull's new hit began thumping loudly into our ears. Several single men spotted us, all winking at either Rosalie or myself. Bella was clinging too close to Jacob to get this attention, but I don't think either of them minded. Jacob's smile was exceptionally wide.

Edward would have never allowed me to come to such a place. In fact I had tried, on several occasions, to get him to come. One of those occasions had ended up with us arguing over who would drive once I had convinced him to come. Needless to say, we didn't go.

Once we reached the dance floor and bar, it wasn't hard to spot Jasper or his handsome friends. They were the tallest ones by the bar, where all the girls just happened to be shooting flirtatious looks. I wasted no time in dragging the others there.

"Alice," Jasper called once he spotted me.

He met me with only two strides of his long legs, and planted a soft kiss on my lips. "I almost didn't see you."

"That's tiny people for you," Jacob teased.

"Jasper, you remember Jacob right," I pointed over my shoulder.

"Yeah," he said holding out his hand. "How you doing?"

"Good," Jacob said shaking his hand.

"Heard you took my place as the other man," Jasper laughed.

I was briefly taken back to the horrid scene just a few days ago as Jacob laughed, "Well I am irresistible."

Jasper snaked his hand back around my shoulders, making me feel as light as a feather and as giddy as a stupid school girl. "And this is my friend Bella, and I am sure you have seen Rosalie."

"So is this miss Alice," a guy approaching us asked.

"Everyone these are my army buddies Luke," Jasper pointed to a shorter, broader man with sandy hair and pale eyes, "and this is Matt."

Matt was as tall as Jasper and considerably broader as well, but with dark hair, eyes, and skin. I could feel the electricity spark between him and Rosalie as they caught each others eyes.

"You know since he met you," Luke was informing me, "I've been getting all of Jasper's money."

"What does that mean," I giggled.

"I've been losing a lot of bets lately," Jasper admitted sheepishly.

"Card games, basketball games," Luke began to inform me of his losing streak.

"That comes from staring at the phone too much," Matt chuckled.

Luke must have been pretty plastered, because he found this a lot funnier than it really was. Alll in all, the night was off to a good start. Rosalie was turning guys, and drinks, away ever few seconds. Bella couldn't stop laughing at Jacob, neither could I for that matter. Matt was slowly making his way closer and closer to Rosalie, and I was standing next to Jasper!

"Wanna dance," Jasper said softly in my ear over the sultry Spanish music that had begun to play.

I nodded that I did, and he pulled me away. "Do you know how to dance bachata?"

I shook my head, apparently I had lost my voice. Nerves. He pulled me close and explained the steps to me, which were quite simple. It was all about the hips and how close you could press your body against your partner and just follow their movements. I really liked bachata.

Me and Jasper had never been this close before. My head was resting against the strong muscles of his chest. The skin of his hand, which rested upon my back, was hot against my bare skin. I could feel his breath upon my neck, causing goose bumps to rise upon my arms and my own breath to quicken. As he pulled me in closer, a surge of energy coursed through me that no other man had ever been able to bring about. I felt as if my skin, and his strong arms, were the only things keeping me from going every where at once. Suddenly I understood how easy it must have been for Rosalie to lose control with Emmett, and why she had been so angry when I had interrupted.

"So where did you learn to dance so well," I asked as our hips swayed together to the music.

"I'm from Texas," he laughed, twirling me and making my stomach jump. "People look at you weird if you don't so much as speak Spanish."

I laughed as we bumped into a Spanish woman trying to dance with a white boy, who was no where near as good as my Jasper. The dance floor was getting more crowded with each second that passed midnight. "So I guess you dated many Spanish hotties?"

"Well I'm not sure that I would put it that way," he laughed as I held my neck up high to admire him as he spoke in that long, deep, drawing voice, "but I have dated a Spanish girl or two."

"Or three?"

"Or three," he conceded.

"How about four. Maybe two at the same time," I teased.

"No," he chuckled. "I'm a one woman kind of man."

"Lucky me," I giggled.

"Hey Alice," his tone was a little strained.

"Hello," I couldn't help but giggle again, although I was quite aware I might be sounding stupid from all of it!

He chuckled himself before saying, "I really like you Alice."

"I really like you too," I admitted, feeling silly, but I couldn't stop smiling. "A lot."

"Can I see you this week," he asked. "Maybe I could take you to dinner?"

"Of course," I said as, sadly, bachata ended and some butt grinding Spanish song began to pound in my ears.

I looked over to see Matt and Rosalie were taking full advantage of the music, but maybe because Jasper and I were starting something more serious, we went back to our table. Bella and Jacob were enjoying themselves by laughing at something, or someone, he had pointed out to Bella. They turned to us as we sat down.

"Done dancing already," Bella giggled. "I thought you planned to dance all night!"

"The night's just beginning," Jasper laughed.

And he was right. The rest of the night, for us at least, was spent between the dance floor, and making out at the table. We stopped only when it was necessary to laugh at a comment by Jacob or his drunk friend Luke. We left at two thirty to find something to eat. Jasper held the door open for me as we filed in, without Luke who was passed out in the back seat of Matt's car.

"What would you like to eat," Jasper asked me as we sat down.

"Something with bacon," I said pouring over the menu that had been sat down before us.

"Hey could you move over," Bella was laughing as she pushed on Jacob. "You're smashing me!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," he mocked as he pushed her closer against that wall. "Is that better."

"What would you people like to drink," the waitress asked as the bell rung at the door.

It was followed by a loud crashing, several gasp, and someone laughing in the kitchen. Jasper leaned back his head and I could see his friend Luke pulling himself up from the floor. "Matt! Matt"

"Luke calm down," Jasper struggled to keep his face straight, but Luke ignored him and went straight for Matt.

"It's 'Mmmm! Just got the call!"

"What are you talking about," he asked as he made room to let him sit.

"It's 'Mmm," he slurred again. "They're flyin-'em to a hostpital here in Watchingten! IUC!"

"I C U," I corrected him, feeling slightly panicked for whoever this 'Mmm was supposed to be.

Matt yanked the phone out of Luke's hand and listened to some message. His face became very pale and somber at once. As he hung up he turned to Jasper, "We need to leave Jasper. Our friend is in the hospital. It's not too far from here. We can take you home though if you want to go."

Jasper gave me a hurt look, but I knew he couldn't leave with us. Rosalie's mom was going to kill us for getting back so late as it was. "Let me know when you get home?"

He nodded, pulling me in for a goodbye kiss, before following his friends running out the door.

"What do you think that was all about," Rosalie asked.

"Their friend 'Mmmm"," Jacob said managing to repress the laugh, but not the smile at the name.

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Hey everyone! Guess what ... I'M PLANNING FOR MY WEDDING! :) Yeah, so maybe now you guys understand the slight delay in my posting! Hope you enjoy and remember reviews get previews!


	17. Back to War

VERY IMPORTANT : Sorry this took so long to get posted, but the reason is because I was waiting for my story to post on a contest me and The Daylighter just entered. It just posted, so now I am posting to let you know. I can't tell you which story it is, but the link to the profile page where all stories are posted is :

www. fanfiction

.net/u/2719891/who_doesnt_love_a_fairy_tale (you have to put them together, sorry it shows up so odd this is the only way I could do it)

Go and check out the stories and vote for the one you like. Hopefully ours will be the one you like best, we are very proud of it. If this link does not show up, PM me. Enjoy.

**Sunday**

I had gotten a call from Jasper early that morning, and was on my way to meet him for breakfast in Port Angeles. Bella and Rosalie were both still asleep from the night before, so I was free to enjoy some music in peace on the drive and contemplate my own happiness. I felt so free, and so alive. I felt as if there was nothing from stopping me from reaching my goals now. I was eighteen, and the whole world was before. It was odd how my mother, and Edward's absence made me feel free.

I all but ran into the little coffee shop where I was meeting Jasper.

"Good morning," I said sweetly as I neared his table.

He rose, kissing me on the lips before pulling out my chair and letting me sit. For a moment we didn't talk, but it was enough time for me to really look at him. His face was worn from the night before, but his eyes were bright and alert as they stared back to me. He took my hand, holding it in his as I told our waitress what I would like to drink. Jasper ordered a strong coffee, black. The look of disgust, I hate black coffee, made him chuckle.

"Did you sleep well," he asked.

"Not really," I told him as the waitress returned with our drink. "How is your friend?"

"Oh, Emmett? I don't really know him too well, but he is going to be ok . . . Alice, are you ok?"

I had just gone into a coughing fit. See, I had been taking a sip of my orange juice when he said that name. I know it was stupid, Emmett wasn't even in the army now, so why would he be so injured he had to be flown to Washington? No. It wasn't they same one.

"Yeah," I said catching me breath as he put his arms around me. "It's just when you said Emmett, I was a little surprised."

"Why?"

"Well," I sighed. "See Rosalie's first love was a guy named Emmett. He was a recruiter, getting ready to go over seas. Well he left, and she didn't hear from him again. She was heart broken. At least, that's the short version of the story."

Jasper sat thoughtfully for a moment. "This guy was a recruiter, he went overseas when I took over his post."

"Do you think . . . it's the same guy," I stared at him in amazement. "See Rose's Emmett was a big guy. He kind of looked like a bear, real tall and swollen."

I mimicked big muscles on my arm and Jasper grimaced. "Yeah, I think it is the same guy."

"No way," I sighed, looking at my menu.

"You guys ready to order," the waitress asked.

I can't remember now what I ordered; I was too excited about the news. Emmett was back! He was in Washington, and I knew where . . . and then just like that all the joy and excitement escaped from me in one long sigh. He was hurt. Injured. In a hospital somewhere, and not to mention Rosalie still kind of hated him for never writing her like he said she would. "So he's going to be ok? What happened to him?"

"He was injured in battle. They shot an artery and he was losing too much blood. I guess they didn't have good enough equipment over there so they had to fly him all the way back. He's very lucky they got to him in time."

We sat in silence for a while longer, until our food came at last. What was I going to do with the news now? I looked at Jasper who was watching me apprehensively. Then he said something that told me we were meant to be. Something told me that we were connected on a deeper level. A level where he could tell what I was thinking, what I was feeling without me having to even speak. "You should tell Rosalie."

"I don't know," I sighed. "I was just thinking about that, honestly. It was like one day they had a fight, and the next day she went looking for him to make up, and he was gone. He didn't leave a letter, or anything. She was really hurt, and I think she still is."

"I think you should tell her," he said. "Then let her decide if she wants to see him or not."

I slowly finished my bacon before agreeing, "You're right. She deserves to make that decision on her own."

Jasper nodded, chewing his own food. I could tell something else was bothering him. There was just something about the way he seemed to be trying to break the spoon. He caught my eye, "Yes?"

"Is something else bothering you?" I asked.

"I ... I am going to reenlist," he said softly to his plate.

"What do you mean? You are going overseas?"

He looked at me, his face worn, but decided. With that silence, my world was being destroyed. My first attempt at true love was being taken away from my because of this . . . this damn pointless war! My happy world that I had dreamed of with Jasper playing the main role was now deflating like a balloon. This war was the needle.

"Alice," he said taking my hand.

All I could do was shake my head. A part of me wanted to yell at him. A part of me wanted to say, how little he must care for me if he was going to leave me when everything was starting off so well. I wanted to tell make a scene and make him feel guilty for abandoning me already, but I couldn't. We hardly knew each other. We had known each other for so little time, and spent so much less of it together. "When?"

"I will be speaking to my boss tomorrow, and he will let me know when I leave," he informed me.

I couldn't talk. I looked to all the other people, sitting and smiling around us. How could they be so happy, when I was so miserable? How could the world keep moving forward, when mine was ending before it began?

"Alice, what do you think," he asked.

"I think," I said sadly, "we don't have a lot of time left together."

"Well then," he said. "We should enjoy what time we do have, together."

I nodded, and my voice came out shaky and weak, "I have this entire week off . . . spring break."

"Plus today," he said. "We should start now."

"I agree."

Our day together didn't involve a lot of talking per say. He took me to this park past Port Angeles and the weather had warmed up severely. Most of our day was spent under a tree where we had a picnic. It was bliss just to sit in his arms, to feel his lips against my own, and to hear his sweet whispers of how beautiful I was. It wasn't until late afternoon we discussed the matter of Rosalie and Emmett. She would be at work now, and I was sure Bella was back at home. I felt bad having left like I did, but once I explained that Jasper would be sent off, Rosalie understood.

Together we left the park, hand in hand, and he followed me back to Rosalie's house. He got out of his car, and opened my door. He could see the worry on my face as he asked, "Are you nervous about telling her?"

"No, it's just her mother's home," I said, nodding at the car.

"Oh," he said. "Should I leave?"

"No, her mother never liked Edward," I said honestly.

"Well this will be the first time you have to introduce me to a parent," there was a strain to his laugh.

"Come on," I said pulling him to the door.

I knocked, before entering and calling, "Rosalie?"

"Welcome back Alice," her mother said brightly. "Who is this?"

"This is Jasper, Jasper this is Rosalie's mother," I said.

"Nice to meet you ma'am," he said taking her hand. "I see where Rosalie gets her beauty from."

Her mother blushed before giggling, "Where did you find this one at Alice?"

Rosalie entered the room with a, "Hey Jasper, Alice. Didn't expect to see you two back so soon."

"Well we have something to tell you," I said, once her mother had left us for the kitchen.

Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. She took a look at the kitchen to where her mother was before saying in a low voice, "What do you two got planned? You're not going to elope somewhere are you because-"

"Uh, haha, no," I said awkwardly, "It's not quite that."

We all looked to the kitchen where we could no longer see her mother. "Ok, I'm not sure how to say this, so I am going to come out with it. Emmett was the one who was shot. I think you have the right to know, and the right to decide if you would like to see him or not."

At first she just looked at us in disbelief. Then her face got really bright, as if she was going to laugh. "Emmett? Is here in Washington?"

"He's at the hospital."

Her face dropped again, and she turned her back on us. "Well, why would I go and see him, he hasn't spoken to me since he left."

"We just thought you deserved the right to decide that," Jasper repeated my words from earlier.

"Hey Alice," Rosalie's mother called from the kitchen. "Is your friend staying for dinner?"

"Would you like to," I asked him.

"Yes please," he said.

We sat on the couch and watched an episode of Family Guy before dinner was ready. As we sat down to plates of mash potatoes, green beans (except on my plate because I hate them with a passion), and Salisbury steak with macaroni and cheese. Jasper said grace, being our guest, and we began to eat.

"This meal makes me think of my mother's cooking," Jasper informed us after finishing half his plate. "It's very good Mrs. Hale."

"Thank you," she said. "How long have you been away from home?"

"Almost five years now," he told her.

"Rosalie tells me you are in the army," she continued. "Have you fought over seas?"

"I was there for almost two years," he said between bites.

"Your mother must be worried sick," she let out a long sigh. "To think of your child having to fend for his life every day and night . . . and people shooting at him. Oh if the news got to me that my son had been hurt-"

Before she could finish, there was a clinging as Rosalie's fork fell against her plate. We turned to see her glaring at us. There was a danger in her eye and she hatefully stood up. "I am going to the hospital."

Her mother looked bewildered as she left the room. "Why is she going to the hospital?"

Jasper had already excused himself from the table and was following after her to tell her he would drive us. I quickly explained to her mother, "Emmett has been shot. He's in the hospital."

"Emmett," her mother gasped in horror and shock. "I thought she hadn't heard from him since he left."

"She hasn't," I said. "But, well. We will be back."

Her mother said nothing as I followed Jasper and Rosalie out the front door. I had to jog to keep up with their longer strides. I couldn't believe we were finally going to see Emmett after all this time.


End file.
